Tromping Through the Wilderness

I forsee...magic.

2012-01-13T21:44:00.000-08:00

My skis were still warm from the wax when I loaded them in the car. I leased some boots, Steve adjusted the bindings, and all the rest of my gear has been loaded in a bag since about 2 days after returning from Argentina. Am I ready to go skiing on Sunday? I do believe so.

11 days in

2012-01-11T20:59:00.000-08:00

Let's evaluate my January goals. So far, so good. Not perfect, but decent. I've managed to write every night and do a picture & paragraph for each day. The walk/jog/run thing hasn't worked out, but I biked about 30 miles last week, so I think that was pretty good considering. I finished one book and started another. All in all, pretty good. And now a couple of my favorite pictures.

I resolve?

2012-01-01T18:45:00.000-08:00

I usually don't make New Year's Resolutions. I just feel so pressured to succeed with generally-unreasonable goals and then explode. But this year, I was very anxious to keep the ball of personal growth rolling. So I have made what I feel to be some modest goals. The catch is that they are only for one month, most of them. If, after a month, I still like them, I'll keep going for another month. If not, it was a month's worth of trying something out. (Some of these goals were taken from/inspired by this blog.)1) Document every day with one photograph and one paragraph. Pretty self-explanatory.
2) Define one long-term goal and work on it for 30 minutes every day. Writing. Blogging, journalling, poetry, prose, whatever. This round is just going to be about making a habit.
3) Run 12 miles a week. Multiply by 1.5 if walking and by 4 if biking.
4) The 8th Avenue Bibliophages have committed to reading 24 books by the end of the year. Every time we finish a book, we put a dollar in a jar and at the end of the year we each buy a new book and a new books to donate somewhere.
Other plans for the year include reorganizing the whole garage to make room for seedlings, composting, gardening, as a house we plan to host at least one party/dinner/movie a month, guitar lessons, cooking more, canning, finding people to jam with, etc. etc. etc. We'll see how it turns out! Cheers!

BRB

2011-12-29T10:19:00.000-08:00

So Anne picked up a shaky me and all the belongings that had been at my parent’s house because, no, I STILL haven’t unpacked from Argentina. Naturally, by this point, I have already analyzed the situation at least twice, which is enough time for me to mourn the loss of my plans to buy boots for skiing the next day and make some “realistic” diagnoses. I come to the conclusion that I am probably losing my mind and a dormant case of Asperger’s is now wrenching its way up through what used to be the fertile soil of normal social interactions. This conclusion is based on the fact that my mind is routinely racing about, oh, a million miles an hour. In a matter of seconds, it would not be uncommon for me to attempt sweeping, while making a grocery list, planning a reunion, remembering I need to write letters, construct a primitive blueprint for a portable chicken coop, and try to remember the lyrics to the song of an obscure Canadian band. I consistently have to remind myself to be present, to go through those little exchanges make like “how is work” or “how is your family”, that I enjoy the company of the people I’m around, and that I enjoy it more when I’m not wondering if “La Bamba” is played GCF or GFC while standing around a veggie tray. I blame the accident on this spacey-ness. What was wrong with me, after all, that I didn’t see that car in time?

I usually call G Dash (she always blogs about people with their first letter and a dash, so I’m K-, but G dash is infinitely more “gangsta”—a quality I value in a blog) in these scenarios. Our conversations are frequently like “that one bag” that has been around for ages, and keeps reappearing at different relatives’ houses every Christmas. We just recycle the same advice one told the other months ago. Thus after several minutes of me blurting out things like, “I’m pretty sure I’m going crazy” or “What is wrong with me” or “it might be Autism”. We enter Phase I—Let Me Remind You about Yourself. This is the phase where the listener reminds the one melting down about basic pieces of their personality that are glaringly obvious to everyone else. In this case, it is the fact that I always have a rough time transitioning from abroad. I tricked myself. Really well this time. I jumped right into Christmas and parties and visits and…and…and. I thought that since I wasn’t angry like I was after Costa Rica that I must be fine. I even suggested to others that a struggle might happen “eventually”, little realizing that I was/am in the thick of it.

We soon moved on to Phase II—I Offer for Your Consideration…The Obvious! In this case, The Obvious is that I made some major life changes while I was away. I changed all my rhythms—menstrual, eating, sleeping, days off, working, resting, etc. That alone is a big deal. Furthermore, something inside me committed, in a no-turning-back kind of way, to living a more sustainable life. This is a limitless idea. Something I could work on the whole rest of my life and never be satisfied, if I chose not to be. (Damn right I split that infinitive.) I shared every minute of entire days, many, many days with people enormously different from myself and there’s no WAY I was unchanged by that. I made a commitment to live my whole life differently, even if I have no idea, mostly, what that means. I just know it will influence how/where/what I drive, what I eat, where I work, what I throw away, what I wear, what I buy, who I date, what lights I turn on, etc. A reader in Portugal could discern that any kind of major change is bound to incite an uprising of glitches elsewhere.

In Phase IIb we discuss another obvious point—I’m an Introvert. That means that when you could smoke salmon on the fumes coming out of my overworked brain, I’m going to withdraw. When I am thinking about a million things, my brain, out of sheer self-preservation, is going to shut down, often at untimely moments. Like when it could be doing things like, oh, noticing stopped cars in front of me. G Dash pointed out that maybe what my body needs is an amount of introspection that I have currently deemed excessive. I think this is true, as part of the picture. But I know that I need to be around people as much as I need to be alone. Which brings us to…

Phase III—And You Might Also Consider. People change! I changed. People at home changed. And coming back, even if I’ve done it before, means going through that awkward process of reconfiguration. Figuring out which relationships still work. Which ones support the changes I’m attempting to make. Which ones can weather the grey area. Which ones somehow are still the same no matter how many continents I go to. Which ones really care and which ones are just nice to spend an afternoon with. I suppose much of this was obvious to everyone around me even before I left B.A. But I’m putting this out there for several reasons. 1) I don’t want it rattling around in my brain. Per my last metaphor, I am already barbecuing, I don’t need bowling going on, too. 2) To explain that if I’m not talkative, this is not necessarily indicative of discontent. 3) If I don’t call, feel free to call me instead, I’ve probably just forgotten about my phone. 4) And to the people who have those open-ended, toss-ideas-around, listen-to-me-rant, or ask-me-questions-about-xyz…may your blessings multiply sevenfold.

F*ck.

2011-12-29T10:13:00.000-08:00

It all started with me smashing the front of my car into the back of another car. Why this didn’t happen when I was 16 and routinely driving 20 miles over the speed limit, I don’t know. I wasn’t texting. I wasn’t on the phone. I just didn’t realize they had stopped very suddenly. I swerved onto the shoulder but not before I nicked their fender with my bumper. So there I am standing on the side of the road, looking at the various pieces of my car littering the side, and somehow, I hear Jenny’s voice (how it wedged in through the “oh fuck.” on repeat is beyond me) telling me to celebrate. That snapped me out of my shock long enough to be grateful that no one got hurt (not even Chris Stanley, my beloved guitar), and that at least their vehicle wasn’t damaged beyond repair. I also probably couldn’t have destroyed the fender of nicer people. How often do people exchange hugs at the scene of an accident? Three surreal things that happened:

1) The elderly lady passenger of the other car offered to help push my car off the road, although she was stopped by her daughter reminding her of her bad back

2) The daughter and some random stranger helped me push it off and the stranger parked behind my car till the police showed up since her mom had been “really messed up” by sitting in her car after an accident

3) As we’re exchanging insurance, phrases like, “Wish we could’ve met under different circumstances” and “Take care and have a happy new year!”

Who has the mental and emotional wherewithal to be so present in such a situation? Maybe you have to lead a pretty centered life to find your bearings so quickly after a stressful situation and be compassionate to someone you have every reason to be livid with. I’m pretty damn lucky they showed me grace and kindness when I mostly hear about rage or icy politeness in these situations. To be continued…

89 Big Ones

2011-12-27T10:54:00.000-08:00

My badass grandmother turned 89 a few days ago. I'm pasting below an awesome conversation we had on the phone. I post this conversation because it's pretty much the same thing as posting a conversation with myself from the future--deaf, occasionally cranky, but excited to talk to people.Kate: ...yep, I sure had a good time in Argentina.Grandma: Well that's great, honey.K: [knowing my g-ma used to love skiing] Grandma, guess what I got for Christmas? Skis and ski boots!G: Ha! Well, did you get some medicine for that?K: What? No, Grandma, I said I got SKIS and SKI BOOTS for Christmas.G: OH!!! I thought you said you got bit by MOSQUITOES!I fully intend to take a leaf from her book when "getting old" becomes a reality and not just a concept. I plan on swearing less often and at fewer people, but no one can deny the beauty of a well-executed, "Well, where the hell is my cane?!" But the exploring, the never-ending ravenous quest for learning, and a deep unshakable love of ice cream, these are things I can learn from. Cheers to the first 89, grandma, and rock on.

2011-12-21T21:54:00.000-08:00

You’d better make a cup of tea if you intend to read this because I intend to blog about the whirlwind that was my vacation ALL in one blog. I hope you can handle it.Right, so we left off with Grace and I being devastated about not being able to trek on the ice. Well, our hostel offered a tour which we woefully signed up for. In the end it rocked our world. A backroads tour, one-on-one meeting/bottle feeding of a guanaco, hiking, and taking a boat right up to the glacier followed by more hiking. We were lucky and got to see multiple enormous pieces of ice fall off and into the water. We wrapped up there and took a flight the next day to Mendoza.

-Mendoza is the wine capital of Argentina, fyi. We got in very late, checked into the hostel and were creeped out by the 3 middle-aged men staying there making gestures about us and the 0 people under 30. So we peaced out of there, stat, and wandered around looking for another hostel. A full hostel hooked us up at this other hostel that was a total refuge for us. And they had a cat. For some reason unbeknownst and incomprehensible to me, Grace named him “Mr. Cuddles.” We got up early the next day, took a bus out to Maipu, rented a bike/map, and headed off. Our first stop was the beer garden which I felt was a nice compromise because I only like wine occasionally but have a deep love for my friend Mr. Beer and Grace is the opposite. (Sidenote, I could have lived at that beer garden, especially since they used earthen building.) Then we headed off to various vineyards and olive/liqueur/chocolate shops. Impressively, we were still able to bike by the end of the day and took the bus back to Mendoza.

-Our last big tourist stop was at Iguazu. Item of note – LAN airlines ran over my pack with a moving vehicle (at least, I reasonably assume this was the case due to the tire tread stains running the length of it) and lost Grace’s luggage which was later returned with part of her wine smashed to smithereens inside of it. Eau de Malbec anyone? Anyway, we rested one day and then spent the next day traipsing about the waterfall, taking a boat into it, and then doing a full moon tour that evening. The waterfall was just as breathtaking the second time.

-We then took a bus to Oberá. We evaluated the a.c. situation and realized the purpose of the air conditioner was to blow sortofcool air toward the front of the bus while leaving us hot and with drippings from the a.c. on our heads. That is the first, and hopefully last, bus ride I spent with a folded scarf balanced on top of my head. We had to take this bus because I SWEAR the ticket lady had told us the bus we wanted left half an hour later than it actually did. Then we transferred to another bus, spending all but our last 2 pesos. We arrived in Oberá with 30 minutes to spare (read here: 10 minutes for Kate to fly by taxi to withdraw money from her emergency fund to pay the 7 pesos to get out to Mama Roja). Luckily we were saved by Reneé who showed up with pesos for bus fare and empanadas for Grace who was at that point “where someone is going to die if I don’t get food.” We also got to say hi to Tania and head out to the farm.-It was, of course, lovely. Looking back, I would have planned more time there. But I enjoyed every last second there. Kim made an AMAZING dinner and lunch. We jammed, talked till the wee hours of the night, laughed hysterically, etc. I said a rough goodbye to Spot 2 which is ever-present in my heart *fist pump to Spot 2*, pirated a lot of files, packed an insane amount of stuff into my bag, and headed into town for a rather melancholy ice cream stop. More tearful goodbyes later and we were at the bus station saying goodbye to Tania, one of the sweetest, kindest people I have ever known.

-Another deluxe bus ride (this time in the very front on top looking out the big front window), we arrived in B.A. with enough time for lunch with Tim tron, another difficult goodbye, a nap at Grace’s hostel, and a long flight home.Of course these are only tiny snapshots of the things that made my mind crack and grow bigger and the flooring beauty in so many varied forms and the funny things and the annoying things and the time when people almost died because we were cranky. But it was an epic trip and one I’ll remember for the rest of my life.

Vacation Saga Part I

2011-12-10T21:15:00.000-08:00

Let’s BeBop!Well, here it is. Whirlwind blogging. I currently write from the Trelew airport, waiting for my flight back to Buenos Aires where I will pick up GRACE and voyage madly. Here’s what went down so far:-Mama Roja wrap up. I’m not blogging about that because I think it would make trivial something that was incredibly powerful and moving. Let’s just say that I have never cried so much about “heart spiders” or had so many friendship bracelets burned onto my wrist in one day. Maybe as I start to look back at this, I’ll process things I want to share, but for now I need to focus on not going crazy with missing people/this weirdo life I’ve led for 3 months.-Meghan, Danielle, and I head to Buenos Aires on the most deluxe bus ever. Meals, movies, snacks, coffee, dulce de leche, you name it. Plus a pillow, blanket, and personal curtain. Worth it. After booking our hostel via bus wifi, we drop our stuff off and head to Siga la Vaca. Danielle’s system promptly decides she needs to be on her death bed and she spent some quality time with certain trash bins all over Buenos Aires. Meanwhile, I ate about 1,000 pounds of meat and even ate some pork that I liked. Meghan and I drank an interesting quantity of wine and also ate a “chocolate volcano” and “cheesecake” which we referred to as “cheeseflan.” The next day I went to the Recoleta cemetery. Pretty cool and gave me some ideas for my burial (tall pole with a tiny ship on top). Then, I met up with M&D and went to a place I saw called Be Frika where we ate…SALADS. This was pretty shocking. Also, fruit smoothies. Crazy. After that I peaced myself out of there, caught a taxi to the airport with a guy we met from the UK and flew to Trelew.

-By flew to Trelew I mean I sat in the airport for multiple hours during the delay and got in after midnight. There was a shuttle to Puerto Madryn, a few hours of sleep and then up early the next day to see…PENGUINS AND DOLPHINS!!! I went with a couple girls from Holland and a lady from Wales. Here’s the lowdown on the dolphins at Playa Union. Not so big, those ones. They’re black and white Commerson’s dolphins. They liked to swim under the front of the boat like they were racing it. We also saw sea lions and various birds and shrimp boats. Then we headed further south to Punta Tombo which is the largest colony of Magellanic penguins. They’re little guys. Probably came to my knee-ish. No bonding allowed, however, as they a) are probably damn tired of a million tourists tromping through their habitat snapping photos of them and b) they have veeeery sharp beaks. In fact, there is an ambulance permanently stationed at the entrance for those who don’t respect the penguins and learn the hard way. It’s their birthing season so we got to see eggs, babies, and adults. They were everywhere. The surprising thing was the climate…I always thought penguins lived on icebergs and such, but it was hot there. Upper 80’s lower 90’s hot. And it was sandy and scrubby…not unlike parts of Idaho. A 3 hour drive later and we were back in Puerto Madryn and I was packing for my bus.

-I bussed that evening to Trelew and then from their to the Welsh immigrant town of Gaiman. For those of you who don’t know about the Welsh, I’ll explain a little about how they spell things. Basically, centuries ago, people got greedy about vowels. Very greedy. So greedy in fact, that they hoarded almost all of the vowels and smuggled them out to other lands…like Hawaii. The people revolted. There was mass chaos in the streets because there were no vowels anymore, really, and the ones to be had were exorbitantly priced. So the overlords got together to try to figure out how to calm the uprising and they came up with 7-for-1. For every one vowel a person has, they get 7 consonants for free. This served its purpose. The people were satisfied and felt even a little indulgent and so began flinging extra consonants everywhere. It should come as no surprise that the name of the b&b I stayed at was Yr Hen Ffordd. I HIGHLY recommend this place. One of the oldest buildings in town on the oldest street in town. While there I visited some Welsh chapels (closed, therefore boring), visited the first house (coal-powered iron, anyone?), and ate the best pasta of my life. Gnocchi stuffed with plum, pancetta, and walnut in an onion, pancetta, tomato, cheese, cream sauce. I accidentally almost died. I also went to a Welsh tea house and ate way too many tea cakes and black tea. Yikes. All in all, I feel that I honored my Welsh heritage, even in poking fun at it. I rolled onto the plane to head back to B.A.

-In B.A., reunited with Meghan, we went with our new Italian friend to the Sunday San Telmo market. It was pretty cool and I carved my name into the table at Plaza Dorrego Bar. Then I picked up a lost Grace from the bus station and we all took a ferry to Colonia, Uruguay. It’s a small town with cobbled streets and lovely old architecture and a UNESCO world heritage site. We saw the lighthouse, old buildings, went to the beach, and flung ourselves into the laguna off of rope swings. We ate some delicious foods, like a chocolate/dulce de leche cake. Our last night, Grace and I decided to try the typical Uruguayan sandwich called “chivito.” At the restaurant we went to, this “sandwich” is the size of a prairie wagon and consists of steak meat, ham, cheese, and fried eggs on top. We ate about 20% of it and then asked for a box. Somehow, after this, it still seemed like a good idea to go to a tiny wine and cheese bar we had seen earlier. I think it was just to sweet to resist. Tucked in a little wall on “Street of Sighs” (translation) with only about 4 tables, we ordered one of the “smaller” plates and a week later I still haven’t finished digesting it. Which is why the 6:45 a.m. bus to Montevideo the next morning was so awesome, especially on 3 hours of sleep. Yet, somehow we made it to Montevideo without barfing and flew to El Calafate.

-El Calafate ended up being my favorite place. After 3 months of jungle heat, the cool, brisk wind of El Calafate was like electricity. The hostel we had tried to book was full, but they directed us to their sister hostel which was cheaper and just as great. We checked in, cooked some gluten-free spaghetti with veggie sauce, and then discovered the devastating news that the trek-on-the-ice tour was booked for the next day. TO BE CONTINUED

Finishing touches

2011-12-03T15:43:00.001-08:00

So, I realize I’ve failed dismally at blogging, apparently since October 21st. I attribute this to my surrender to the internet vacuum that is Oberá. And also, we’ve pretty much just been building non-stop. We had quite a few workshops at the end of things we taught each other. But for the most part, our main focus was on the building. Here are some things I took away from the process (yeah, I’m beyond the technical blogs):-Readjustment of plans and goals is critical. That’s why we added columns, for example. The wall was “wonky” and wobbly, so adding the columns added stability.-Adding glass bottles for beauty. After laying the bricks around them, you carve out space for more light to filter through them.-We finished laying all the bricks, I believe. Line after line after line, we finally made it up to the roof.-Plaster layer one. It’s already cracked nicely and is waiting for the other layers.-“Meatballing” – the process of adding tons of fiber (tensile strength) to the plaster mix and shoving the wads into places that need stability but are too small to put bricks in.-Natural painting. We used lime and iron oxide and painted 2.5 walls of our cabin. -Making shelving and niches. -And much, much more!We didn't finish the house. Not by a long shot. In a way, that was a bummer, but when I look at how much we accomplished and hear about how long a project like this normally takes, I feel just fine. Ultimately K & M will finish all the layers of plaster, add artsy things like tree sculptures/niches/shelving, they'll put in sinks/counters/composting toilets. They'll cover the floor, probably with a tinted cement mix with wax over top. They'll put in doors and windows. And they'll put on the roof. And after breathing for a while, maybe a long while, they'll add two additional rooms on the side. Rock on.Basically, natural building is crazy. In many ways, you can make it simple or complicated and you can do that now or later. But the nice thing is that if you stick to basic stability principles, if you eff up, you can fix it or make adjustments. I learned that my personal style is to do more measuring/leveling now and hopefully have fewer adjustments later, but I also learned ways to build more freely knowing that we could readjust. Hopefully I can rummage around for a project and start melding what I know already with new learning about what works in non-jungle settings.

Ye Olde Smalle Update

2011-10-21T14:19:00.000-07:00

We continue forth. Most of our concerted efforts are on the house, with a few forays into the kitchen and garden. We spend most of the days laying layers of baked bricks and mud mortar. The walls are high enough that we can start incorporating bottles as sort of a stained-glass situation. I'm learning about using plumb lines and levels and lining things ups. I could post some technical how-tos on this, but I haven't quite wrapped my brain around it enough to blog coherently. I also spend a good amount of time flinging mud at other people. Word like, "punk", "rude", and "idiot" have been thrown in my direction, but I know it's all in love. I have told everyone that they should worry about when stop flinging mud. If you go to the Mama Roja website, you can see results of this mud-flinging. http://mamaroja.blogspot.com This will be the last post for a while. We're mostly focused on just building the house, anyway. We'll be building on our day off, Tuesday, having an all-day fiesta/birthday party/Halloween party/pizza making party/costume party on Thursday and then heading off to some Jesuit ruins on Friday. Should be good times. Below is the pyramid root cellar at the Chacra Suiza that we visited today.

2011-10-18T14:05:00.000-07:00

Oops. Didn't realize it's been 2 weeks since I last posted. We've had a lot of rain lately (think 4.5 inches in one night), so lots of indoor activities. I did a "workshop" on how to make bagels. We've made peanut butter again, peach jam, chipas (Argentinian cheesy bread thing, but didn't quite turn out), and other tasty treats which I cannot remember at this time. Mostly our focus is on building the house. This mostly consists of sifting subsoil and hauling it in buckets up the hill to mix with the sand we hauled in wheelbarrows up the hill to mix with the water and pine needles that are already up there to make the mortar. AND hauling wheelbarrow loads of bricks from the base of the hill to the top of the hill. I am getting stronger. It helps when my hutmate and I sing medleys consisting of 80's jams, Disney songs, and showtunes while huffing and puffing up the hill, one pushing and one pulling the wheelbarrow. I also found an intercambio partner. Basically, I blurted out at the waitress at the store/restaurant where we buy our bulk food that if she wanted to, we could have Spanish/English conversations. It was weird, but it worked. We're visiting a farm on Friday run by Swiss immigrants where we will be eating meat raised right on the property. (Who ever thought I'd be excited to eat meat?!) Next week we don't have Tuesday off, but we do have an all-day fiesta where we will make pizza, probably empanadas, and then take 3 days off after that. I'm planning on heading to some Jesuit ruins nearby. Love to you all.

Update: Fermentation

2011-10-04T09:39:00.001-07:00

Update on how our fermented mixes are going can be found here.

Wine & Aperitif

2011-10-04T08:58:00.000-07:00

Mulberry Wine:-1 Kilo organic sweet fruit, 4-5 liters water, 1 kilo sugarBring ingredients to a boil, let it cook together about 10 minutes. It’s okay if you have stems and seeds in your mix. Remove from heat and allow to cool to body temperature. Add about 1.5 tsp yeast. Put in a non-airtight, covered container and store in a cool, dark place. Stir every few days if desired. In 3 weeks-one month the wine will be ready. At this point, you can strain off the wine and drink it while it has a sweeter flavor or you can let it sit longer therefore losing some sweetness and gaining a stronger wine flavor.Hesteridina (Aperitif):-10 whole cloves, the rind of 3 oranges, 250 g of sugar, 3 sprigs of fresh rosemary (10 cm length), ½ liter grain alcohol (or cane alcohol, 96 proof), 2 liters water.Chop rind into small pieces and dry in the oven. Mix all ingredients in a large bottle or carboy. Shake every 2 days and store in a cool, dark place. Ready in 15 days.

Iguazú Falls

2011-10-04T08:53:00.000-07:00

Well, we had our first end-of-month break. We all went to Iguazú Falls. Google it. Here are some memorable points:-Sprinting for and missing the 7:45 bus. Walking 45+ min to the next town and doing the SAME thing. Misplacing my beloved slouch hat and handkerchief in the process. Meeting really awesome street vendors and spending time talking with them and hearing about all the stuff they make and places they’ve traveled. A cheap, good hostel. Going to the falls, realizing my stomachache wasn’t going away, and in fact it was getting worse. Looking at the most amazing waterfalls ever for about 6 seconds and then trying to run to the nearest puking spot. Getting stuck behind two old ladies blocking the path who did not seem to grasp that I WAS GOING TO BARF ON THEM. No amount of “excuse me”’s helped. I finally got past them and spent the whole rest of the day on a bench and then creeping down the path with frequent rests on the side of the road. The next day we went back, took the boat tour into the falls and the river float. Amazing. Enough said. Drawing trade night. You basically start drawing and then pass it around the circle trading once you get sick of your drawing. Someone waking up having no idea where their wallet was or why they weren’t wearing pants. Not one, but TWO people finding out that they had burrowing insects in their feet that needed removal. Street surgery. Of course there was more to the trip, but these are some good highlights.

Technical Blog: Natural Building III

2011-10-04T08:49:00.000-07:00

Recap: We have filled the retaining walls. We compacted them with walking. We compacted part of the porch completely with the stomping tool. The A-frame is up.Now, we want to section off the porch and kitchen areas so we can build small retaining walls that will provide the support for the walls that will divide inside from outside and kitchen from bathroom. I think the original retaining wall provides support for all the other walls we’ll construct.We measured 125 centimeter from the edge of the original retaining wall to mark where we’ll put the dividing wall for the porch/living area. We drove in a stake at one end of the room. Then we did the same thing at the other end of the room. After that, we used a plumb line hung from the A-frame to make sure the stakes were straight. So, we now have a stake at each end of the line that will eventually be the wall dividing the porch from the living room. We tied a piece of string between the stakes to give us a guide to build a straight wall. We dug a trench deep and wide enough to accommodate a line of bricks – one brick wide, two bricks high.Next, using the string as a guide, we put down a layer of cement (see recipe below), then a row of bricks, then a layer of cement, then a row of bricks. Note – don’t stack the bricks in columns. You gain more stability by shifting the row down a half a brick. (If this doesn’t make sense in writing, just look closely at the bricks in the pictures.) When you’re laying the bricks, you can be really professional about it. You can get out a level and make sure every brick is perfectly aligned. We didn’t do this. The steps we took were enough for K&M to feel satisfied that the structure was stable. Aesthetics aren’t so important with the bricks given that they will soon be covered with a thick layer of mud. Recipe: Cement: 4 parts sand + 1 part cement mix + around 1 part water (give or take)If you don’t have a fancy machine, combine all the dry ingredients in a mixing unit using a hoe. See ours below. Once mixed, make a well in the middle and add a little water. Once combined, repeat until the water and mixture are thoroughly combined. Have someone who knows about cement give you pointers on a good consistency. Wetter is better, but you do hit a point where it’s too watery. Tips: pour the dry cement from a close distance. Dumping it from high up causes it to waft everywhere. Yuck. Letting the first bit of water sit for a while in the well makes later mixing easier.

Technical Blog: Natural Building II.

2011-10-04T08:34:00.000-07:00

Okay, so I’m feeling a little overwhelmed by the thought of blogging about the whole earthen building process. There’s a lot going on and I know I’m forgetting some of the important technical details. But the best way to retain knowledge is to teach it. So, I apologize if I’ve missed any steps, but at the bottom of the post I’ve listed some other resources for further learning (a drop in the ocean of options).Recap: We’re working on 2 projects, a drop-toilet repair and building a house from scratch. The house is what I’ll be covering here and, when our internship is done will include a small kitchen, bathroom, living/sleeping space, and porch on two sides of the house. They plan to expand later.What we’ve done so far. The house is on a slope, so it was constructed in 3 levels (not stories, but heights, like steps.) Each layer had a retaining wall built of multiple layers of baked bricks with cement between. There were also sturdy pillars in each corner and in the center, back wall of the house cemented into the ground. This phase was completed by the neighbor and his crew. Yes, we could have done it ourselves, but K & M wanted to lay a really good foundation. I believe it was the same crew that also put up the A-frame, with help from a few of the interns.Then came the super awesome work of hauling dirt uphill by wheelbarrow load and bucket. Learning lesson: take breaks! Use water, mandarin oranges, and mate tea liberally. Plan a pizza night for the same week to boost group morale. We filled in the retaining wall and stomped it down by walking on it. We also compacted the dirt further using the tool shown below. It might have a name, but you basically just lift it up and let the weight of it slam down. Once the dirt has sunk down, you add more dirt and continue the process until the slamming tool produces no major results. [Why? This means when you put your cement floor on later, you run less risk of it caving in or cracking badly.]Barefoot Architect – Johan Van Lengen, Home Work Handbuilt Shelter – Lloyd Kahn, Building Green – Clarke Snell and Tim Callahan, The Good House Book – Clarke Snell

Does anyone else get this stuck in their head?

2011-10-04T08:23:00.001-07:00

Technical Blog - Medicinal Mud

2011-09-23T07:38:00.000-07:00

Best taken from subsoil with a high clay content. Take care to use soil from non-polluted sources (i.e. hasn’t had chemicals/pesticides/etc. dumped on it, not near a road, etc.).Dig down at least 30 cm (about a foot), and dig up however much subsoil you feel that you’d like. Lay it out to dry on a tarp or something in a cool, shady spot protected from the elements and animals for at least 10 days. It must be completely dry. Put it through a fine sifter (like the one in your kitchen, or slightly bigger). Bottle and store in a way that moisture can’t leak in. You can bottle it with dried calendula flowers or dried plantain (again, the ground plant, not the banana cousin) for added benefits. Proponents of medicinal mud have claimed many and varied benefits from ulcers, arthritis, thyroid imbalance, phlegm, getting rid of parasites, ovarian cysts, bug bites, facial scrubs, chest cold relief, etc.Internally:Mix about 1 cup water with about 1 tablespoon of the dried mud (use less for kids). You can either mix it up and drink the whole sloshy mixture OR, you can mix it, let the bigger pieces settle, and then drink the cloudy water on the top. Take it on an empty stomach (1/2 hour before food or 2 hours after) i.e. before breakfast and lunch. Take once a day for a general cleanse. Or take 2 times daily, three times a week and then take 15 days off.Externally:Mix with a bit of water, apply in circles. Can apply externally for ovarian cysts, rub on for 40-50 circles. Use once a week as a facial scrub. Apply to chest during colds.

Gardening I

2011-09-20T10:20:00.000-07:00

We started our new beds using a double-dig system. You can read more about it in THIS amazing, amazing book, and here’s a picture.

If that doesn’t make sense (it didn’t to me), think about those number games you had as a kid. There was one hole and all the other number squares were jumbled around and you had to rearrange them in the correct order. Well, double-dig is like taking out the whole bottom row of numbers (or soil in this case) and setting it aside. Then you move the second-to-bottom row into the empty space where the bottom row used to be, and so on until the top row is open. Then you take the soil (bottom row of numbers) you set aside earlier and put it into the top row. Why? This aerates the soil without disrupting it too much. If you jumble all the soil around, then you’ll get subsoil on the top and topsoil on the bottom. This means that the anaerobic organisms that don’t like air will be freaking out on top and the aerobic organisms that need air will be suffocating on the bottom. No bueno.After double digging, we covered it with a layer of old, partially disintegrated cardboard that was lying around from last year. We waited a few days. Then we added our Soil Mix (see below) and mulched it. We had some tall grass that had been cut from the orchard so we used that to spread a thin layer over the Soil Mix, and then we watered it. The amount of water you use would depend on your area.Soil Mix. You have to know what kind of soil you have…ask around. This recipe is for the very clay-ey soil that we have here. Why use a soil mix? Especially in clay soils, mixes provide structure so that the dirt doesn’t become so compact that the roots can’t grow, it holds in moisture, and provides lasting nutrients for the plants. We used part sawdust (it was from a mill that doesn’t treat its lumber with nasty chemicals), part topsoil from the large hole we dug to make a pond, part compost, part sand (a bit less of this), and effective microorganism liquid from the bananas we had let ferment. If I remember correctly, we didn’t mulch all of our existing, established beds. We put a layer of compost, a layer of mulch (on the ones that were not already packed with plants), and then watered it. Seriously check out that book if you have an interest in gardening. It teaches you from the get-go beginner level on up to the established, experienced gardener. It talks about when to plant, when to weed, when to move seedlings, etc. It talks about companion planting so you can plant a few plants in the same area that help each other out. A group that work well together is called a guild and the classic example is corn, beans, and squash. You can plant all three seeds in the same hole. We’re giving the corn a head start. The corn provides a stalk for the beans to grow up and the squash provides ground cover to keep nutrients in. And the beans provide the nitrogen that one of the other plants needs. So you end up planting WAY more plants in a smaller area than you were using before. And there’s just a ton of other good info, period. Happy gardening.

See you around, freaks!

2011-09-20T10:19:00.000-07:00

That is an actual quote from the guy we went to visit today for our "field trip." Name - Eric Barney. Specialty - alternate energy. Did I understand what was going on - no. Was it still really cool - yes.So basically he showed us around his house with all the alternate energy systems that he's using and explained how they all worked. I had the technical knowledge to understand about 30% of the presentation, but my more technical compañeros were super excited and into it, so I took that as a very good sign. We saw several wind turbines, hydro electric systems, solar energy systems, cooking stoves, steam cleaners, etc. And then we bought organic yerba mate from him. Hopefully I will not drink it all before I come home and share with everyone. Check out the pictures on my facebook. I'd post them here, but I'm running out of time and don't feel like posting twice. :)

Whoops.

2011-09-13T11:36:00.000-07:00

Vocab changes from from one Spanish-speaking to another.So apparently,I've been asking where I can fuck the bus.

I FINALLY HAVE WIFI!!!

2011-09-13T07:18:00.000-07:00

What a technological miracle. I spent my whole day off last time traipsing around town looking for wifi that actually worked and did the same thing again this morning for an hour. Finally I found this bar with it. Hallelujah. It's a bit slow at the moment, but I am still grateful! New post up about fermentation. Possibly coming up...a post about gardening. I realized that part of the world is well versed in the basics of gardening, but it all feels like rocket science to me right now.

On a non-technical level, things are going even better. I was frustrated for a while, and all I wanted to do was sleep. But then I had some basic lightbulb moments "Lightbulb!" (10 points to the first person to name that quote) where I realized that eating dairy/gluten while the sun is not shining for several days (thus making everything cold and damp...like in the 30's fahrenheit cold and damp) AND being about to start my period was all a nasty combination. So I've been slipping off during the sunny moments to walk in the "river" and listen to some tunes, etc. And when the Red Plague lifts, hopefully I'll get some running going, too. Wexcellent.

Anyone who sends me mail wins a free postcard complete with a short message AND my world-famous signature. Just sayin'.

Technical Blog: Fermentation (effective microorganisms, kombacha, kefir, yogurt)

2011-09-13T07:13:00.001-07:00

So you know those expensive probiotics in the store that cost anywhere from $15-40 per month? No more. Here is a way to reload your system with healthy microorganisms that have been killed off by being sick, taking antibiotics, or by the plethora of germ-killing solutions we use to clean our houses and bodies.
Note – when making anything involving live microorganisms it is important to NOT use metal. Metal utensils, bowls, etc. have a way of killing the organisms.
Yogurt: Boil raw/unpasteurized milk and let cool to [I forget the temperature, just google it. It’s warm enough to foster growth, but cool enough to avoid killing the bacteria] degrees. At this point you’ll need a starter culture. Plain yogurts that specifically say the bacteria they have will work. (Careful, I think Dannon was in a scam not too long ago where they claimed to have live cultures but it was just gelatin or something.) Basically legit yogurt that without flavorings, fruit, etc. Fill a jar about 1/5th full of the starter culture, add your cooled milk. Incubate (i.e. in a cooler, or wrapped up in a blanket, or in a plastic bag surrounded by your jacket, etc.) for about 6 hrs. Too much more than this and it will start to sour. Once this is done, remove from incubation and refrigerate. Be sure to save some of this yogurt to use as your next starter culture
Kefir: Most of you know this in its yogurt form. You can also make it in water, both clear and leftover from boiling vegetables, etc, and there are probably a lot of other ways to make it, too. We focused in milk kefir and water kefir.
Dairy: Take about 1 TBSP Kefir grains, a bit less than a gallon of pasteurized milk, and about a cup of sugar. Mix them all together and wait. When it starts to solidify and look more like yogurt than milk, it’s time to add more milk and a bit more sugar (a few TBSP). Pretty simple. The kefir keeps multiplying as long as you keep adding milk. You can then harvest what you want to eat. If you find that you’re having to add milk every day and it annoys you, you can remove some of the kefir grains which have multiplied by now and start another jar or give them to someone else to start. From start to harvest takes around 2-4 days. Putting the mixture in the fridge slows the process if you’d rather monitor it less.
Water: Same process, but use water instead of milk.
Kombucha Tea: This drink is still effective but gentler than the Effective Microorganism recipe (next), so if you find that the E.M. recipe is so effective at regulating your system that you are spending more time on the toilet than with friends, try Kombucha.
Kombucha is started easiest by getting a mother cell from someone else. Check Craigslist or google your area. Mother cells can multiply easily and people are apparently eager to welcome others into the Fermentation Brotherhood/Sisterhood and will gladly give you one.
Once you have your mother cell, brew some black or green tea (must be caffeinated) w/ 3+ spoonfuls of sugar and cool it. Add the mother cell. Cover the top with cheesecloth and secure with a rubber band. It should be stored in a cool, dark place, so it is helpful to wrap the jar in an old paper bag. Let it sit for 7ish days. You can then harvest some of the liquid. Experiment with how much is helpful to your body. Start with a shot glass sized serving. Take straight, mixed with water, juice, etc. As the liquid gets lower in the jar, add more water and sugar.
If you don’t have a mother cell, you can make your own. Our instructor made hers on accident, so you’ll have to experiment with this suggestion. The main components are fruit, sugar, darkness, and time. When she made the mother cell, it was super hot weather-wise. She mixed some non-citrus fruit, added sugar to the bowl, shoved it under a shelf and forgot about it for a several months. The mother cell formed. It looks like a thick, light brown membrane. You can pick the whole thing up and it shouldn’t tear.
Effective Microorganisms for health:
Start by purchasing non-citrus local fruit. The more local, the better. As in, grown in your backyard, town, or at least for the local farmer’s market. The reasoning—the organisms that grow locally are ones that are suited for fighting off diseases that grow locally. Again you just need ripe fruit and sugar. We used local bananas.
Don’t wash the fruit. Mature, but not rotten to the point of being moldy, fruit is best. Fill a 5 gallon bucket with the fruit. Add about ½ pound sugar on top. Put the lid on, but don’t seal it. You use a lid to keep insects out (instead of a cheesecloth) and keep it dark, but you also want air to be able to circulate. Shove the bucket in a dark corner and let it sit for around 3 weeks.
To harvest, strain off the juice that has formed, bottle it with a narrowed cork (again to let air in and out), and enjoy. Be sure to add more sugar to your existing bucket so that it will continue to create more juice. You can repeat this process until the fruit has entirely dissolved into liquid that you have harvested all along.
E.M. is best drunk right when you wake, about 15 minutes before eating. If the E.M. tastes very strong and makes your stomach burn a bit, like heartburn, drink plenty of water (which you should do anyway). Then next time dilute the E.M. in water when drinking.
Note: mold. During any of these processes, especially for newbies like me, you will see things that look “gross” and smell “gross”. However, as you go along, you’ll learn what is fermentation and what is unhealthy. Mold and large bugs are not okay. In the E.M. process if you should discover those things, use the mixture in your garden instead (more on that when I learn it). In Kombucha, pick a healthy cell without mold on it and start a new culture. In Kefir, find the grains, rinse all the dairy off, and start a new culture. I am not sure about yogurt. Buen provecho!

Update:It’s been a few weeks, so we were able to harvest the juice of the medicinal e.m. mixture. The pictures show us scooping it out, running it through a cheesecloth filter, and bottling it. We then put more sugar on the leftover fruit, covered it with cheesecloth, loosely replaced the lid, and then put it back in its dark corner to await another harvest.Our Kombucha tea isn’t doing so hot. Our mother cell was taken from a mixture that had mold. While we took a healthy-looking cell (one that didn’t have mold), I think it might take a few cycles to produce a tea that doesn’t have any mold on it. The yogurt continues to cycle and we make a new batch about every week with cultures from the previous batch.The kefir is going strong, too. Occasionally you have to replace the kefir grains with fresher ones to keep the fermentation going strong, but so far these grains are doing well.

Technical blog: composting & composting toilet

2011-09-06T08:39:00.001-07:00

Mama Roja uses a humanure system. That means everything from tree clippings, grass, weeds, human waste, animal waste, meat, kitchen scraps, etc. can go in the bin. It’s on a year cooking system. So when you fill the bin, you cover it and let it sit for 6 months to a year. City humanure systems go as far as cooking it for 2 years.
To start the bin, you fill it 1/3 to ½ full of dry composting materials. We used dry leaves, broken small branches, torn paper bags from the cement mix, and old grass. The main components of compost are heat, oxygen, nitrogen, and SOMETHING.
Dig a hole in the middle and put brown and green waste. We used our humanure buckets and a bucket of kitchen scraps. As you fill it, it should never stink. If it does, there’s an imbalance somewhere. The compost should stay moist but not wet and out of direct sunlight. Fill it and then cover for a year
Stage 1. In this stage, mezophilic bacteria start to do their thing.
Stage 2. In this stage, thermophilic bacteria do their thing. This is the hottest stage and these are the same bacteria that live at the center of the earth. I don’t remember if the worms come in this stage or the next stage or in the stage before. But California redworms are the way to go, apparently. They stay closer to the surface rather than burrowing deep into the ground where you don’t really need them.
Stage 3. Cooling
Stage 4. Curing
Additional note: The composting toilet here is pretty simple. It’s a 5 gallon bucket housed in a square frame with a toilet seat on top. Every time you make a deposit you cover it with sawdust and close the lid. If it stinks, you’re not putting enough sawdust in. When it’s full, you dump it in the compost and add a layer of dry compost material (we collected bags of leaves). Voilá.

Technical post: House phase 1, picture soon

2011-09-06T08:31:00.001-07:00

So here is Kimberly and Marcelo’s future house. The plan is to build this one and then convert their old one into a cabin for interns. It’s a win win. We build the house they’ll live in, and we get to learn how to build a house from the ground up.
You’ll see three sections. The lowest, smallest section is the porch. The upper are the house. The retaining wall is built out of baked brick purchased locally and mortar. They didn’t like the idea of building with cement, but it was the least of all evils in this climate. So far we have accidentally knocked out three bricks with our wheelbarrows full of dirt.
The “frame” consists of posts surrounded by large rocks and cement. The diagonal beams support the corner posts to keep them stable while the concrete dries.
Our first phase has been moving dirt by the barrow-full from the bottom of the hill up to the top. We then level it, and stomp it out. After observing our exhaustion, K&M decided that since mules and oxen weren’t a viable option in this instance, they would hire someone with a little CAT to bring the dirt from the bottom to the top. They didn’t want to use a machine, but they made the evaluation that our current method was too much and changed the plan. More in Phase 2.

“Technical blog:” Living in Community Part I

2011-09-06T08:29:00.000-07:00

(some of my views may change as time goes by)
There are 8 interns. 3 of us live in the 2 cabins and everyone else lives in tents. Our ages range from around 20 to around 30. Here’s what’s working for us (this is my opinion). Respect. We come from pretty different backgrounds but it’s working so far. Willingness to work hard and willingness to do whatever work is at hand. Teachability. We learn from our materials from K&M, from each other, and from observation. Breaks. We have our most labor intensive session in the morning when it’s coolest, then lunch/siesta and another shorter session. Shared spaces and private spaces. If you want to be with people, you come to the dining area. If you don’t, you go for a walk in the millions of places to explore or you chill in your living area. Structure with flexibility within the structure. Yeah we have a schedule, but sometimes that doesn’t work out. Like with moving heavy wheelbarrows uphill. The plan was then changes. Sense of humor. We laugh throughout the whole day. Shared, rotating duties. We have group tasks and individual tasks, including bread maker, breakfast maker, lunch helpers, garden tender, cleaners, and dinner maker. We sign up for a different chore on a different day so we all learn each task and then teach the next person the task and move on to the next thing. There are a lot more things that are working, but those are just some basic observations from the beginning stages.

“Technical blog” – eating ideas

2011-09-06T08:28:00.002-07:00

Every breakfast we eat is cereal (made of oats, puffed rice, puffed wheat, corn flakes, raisins, coconut, and maybe some other ingredients that escape me, like flax), homemade whole grain bread (sometimes with butter, jam, peanut butter depending), homemade yogurt, bananas, and we usually all drink tea.
Lunch is the big meal of the day. We often have something more flavorful accompanied by a green salad and rice, pasta, or today we did boiled mandioca (yucca…it’s similar to a potato but a but chewier and sweeter). Every meal is vegetarian and includes varieties of vegetables like potatoes, tomatoes, beets, celery, swiss chard, leeks, onions, carrots, etc, etc. Ingredients I’m not used to are stinging nettle, plantain, etc. Since we only light the wood stove once a day, we cook the vegetables for our dinner so that all we do is reheat it. We usually have bread with this meal, too.
Dinner is soup. We reheat the giant pot of soup and have it with bread and usually butter.
So far we haven’t eaten snacks, except for leftover salad from lunch and our never-ending supply of mandarins. No one in this group is overweight at all…I’m the plumpest one. But, at least for me, I can feel my digestive system going a little crazy as it goes through withdrawals from sugar, easy carbs, and other fats. I am also used to more protein. I think we’ll get that more adjusted as the internship progresses, however.

Technical blog: balms and liniments, phase 1

2011-09-06T08:28:00.001-07:00

We started phase one of balms. We used plantain which has antiseptic properties and is good for bug bites (1,000 and counting on my right shoulder blade alone). The plantain was harvested during a waxing moon. When the moon is waxing, it is pulling the nutrients up into the leaves (along the same lines as the tide following the moon, too). We didn’t harvest any plants that had started to flower since this means that the plant is devoting its resources to flowering and less in the leaves.
We cleaned it by wiping off excess dirt. We didn’t wash it because that removes surface organisms that are helpful and opens the door for mold even wider. Then we chopped it into little pieces, roots and all, crammed it into a bottle, and covered it with oil (we used sunflower, but you can use other pure vegetable oils). We’re letting it sit for 7-14 days. Probably closer to 7 since we all have a million bites.
Liniments are even easier. Same process, but we only used the leaves. We crammed a jar full and then covered it with rubbing alcohol. We shook it for 2 minutes. After that, you shake it for a minute a few times a day for 7-14 days and it’s ready to go.

And here we are.

2011-09-06T08:24:00.000-07:00

So here we are. It’s been a whirlwind, to say the least. After Houston, I safely made it to Buenos Aires and stumbled out to the cross-city bus I’d need to get to the bus that would take me out to Oberá. I definitely almost knocked a trash can over onto an old man who was saved by the person pushing his wheelchair. When I was in a remis from the last bus stop to the next big bus stop, I met some people who were there for the immigrant festival, also in Oberá…small world. I bought my ticket and then proceeded to wait for 6 hours for my bus and met Meghan and Skyler along the way. I then promptly missed my bus because the ticket didn’t match the sign.
One of the station employees was also licensed through the company to drive a remis (taxi-ish) and rushed me and all my luggage out to his car. There was a moment where I considered that he could shove me in the trunk, especially when he told me we’d have to catch the bus at the next station 45 minutes away. I went with my gut instinct which said I’d be safe and hopped in the car. The driver used the shoulder, drove in two lanes simultaneously, and was not aware he owned a turn signal, but we got there just in time, I paid him all my money and sprinted for the bus. It was an overnight bus and I could have slept quite soundly except I realized that the bus driver wasn’t announcing the stops and I was paranoid I’d miss it. Luckily this nice older couple helped me and it turns out that Neil and Tim were on the bus the whole time anyway. We got off, met up with most of the rest of the interns from the other bus, bussed into town and met up with Marcelo. We bought boots, withdrew cash, and used the internet which is in a gas station café. We then crammed 9 people into the car and headed out to the farm.
After lunch, we set about putting our things together in our tents and cabins. I love our group. We get along respectfully, humorously, and everyone has a huge appetite for learning. Well, we actually have huge appetites in general. I´m living in the Cosmic Cabin and my roommate is a Canadian named Renee.
My cabin:
The garden:

Some generalities: we have breakfast at 7:30, start work at 8:30, lunch at 12, siesta till 3, work until 5ish, dinner at 7. We have Tuesdays and Fridays off. Sunday evenings we watch documentaries, and Saturday evenings we have our meetings. We talk about things we appreciate, things we’re frustrated about, anything we want to share, show gratitude, bring up for discussion, etc. etc. etc.
I thought about reporting on my bicep size, but as of yet, there are no changes noted.
Overall, I just love it. I get cold (30 degrees the first night), hot (85+ today), tired, and reclusive, but those are a very small slice in a pie I am very grateful to have. I’m learning lots from our sessions, from the people around me, and from myself. For the first time, I’ve allowed myself an adjustment period to work through the exhaustion, culture shock, and living in a community.
And damn it feels good.

So far...

2011-08-30T15:53:00.000-07:00

I would like to use the 45 minutes of free internet that the Houston Airport has provided me with to let you all know that I have made it through most of U.S. part of the voyage. I still have 4 hours of layover yet, which, of course I am looking forward to, and then I'll bebop on down to classic Buenos Aires. Claaaasic Buenos Aires.

Chapter the First – In Which We Find Our Protagonist Arrived at the Airport Two Hours Early.
Because mathematics, like walking, is also an apparently difficult subject.

1) Arriving early gave me some quality time to write the track names for the music I had burned onto iTunes. Really, what's better than editing titles at 4:30 in the morning? Sleeping, mainly, comes to mind, but who needs sleep?
2) They couldn't check me past Denver, so I visited with the rep in Denver who bore a striking resemblance to that guy in the Apple Dumpling Gang...Don Knotts, I think? Except not funny. Another rather uneventful flight.
3) I arrived in Houston. The United lady in Boise said I'd have to get my bags here because they couldn't check them to B.A. So I got a little panicked when it didn't come down the claim. Another bonding moment with Continental staff and the woman I only know as "M." (because why put your whole first name on your name tag?) told me that, via the interwebs, she was able to determine that my bags had been checked to B.A. after all. She printed me off a slip that said that and it apparently also works as a "you still have to go through security haha" pass. There was a little holdup due to some "suspicious activity" on my chin, but after doing a visual check, they were able to determine that my chin was probably not a dangerous weapon.

Items of note. I was a little nostalgic about traveling alone, as I usually have my misfortunes/adventures like these with Astin. But then I realized I'm not alone. I have Nilbert. Nilbert is the name of the growing/changing enormous swollen mass on the back of my leg that I got from an experience in my last post. I named it Nilbert because Nilbert is a rather awkward, unfortunate name, and Nilbert's existence is a rather awkward, unfortunate thing. So, we travel together as he routinely reminds me of his presence.
Also. Security is pretty interested in my fake tattoo/band-aid. I also appreciate the people who are really confused about it, but are trying to be polite and not stare. I still catch them. Off to find some dinner. Hopefully I will post an "I'm alive" post from B.A., but we'll see!

Title: Things You Should Not Do to Your Shin Two Days Before Leaving for Another Continent [Some Graphic Images]

2011-08-28T23:23:00.000-07:00

Alternate title considered: Why the f*** is this a part of our driveway?!?!

Also considered: Well, if you hadn't waited to take the trash out till 11:30 pm, you wouldn't be in this predicament, now would you?

So, Anne heard voices outside and was kind enough to watch me out to the garage as I took out the trash. Well, I rammed the trash can right into whatever the hell that metal bar is, so I should have known where it was when I turned back around to get the recycling. As many of you know, however, it is actually pretty dark at 1130pm when you don't have a garage light. That is how I rammed my bare shin at full force into The Post of Damnation. Naturally, this caused within me great pain and consternation which my body decided to take care of by crumpling to the ground, where I believe the plan was to lie, whimpering. Again, due to the whole it's-dark-at-1130pm thing, on my way to the crumpling/whimpering stage, I somehow lost track of The Post of Damnation and landed on it with the back of my thigh before successfully achieving the crumpling/whimpering goal which, at this point, had reached a new urgency. I also believe I was surrounded by the recycling I had strewn about my in my fall, but the crumpling/whimpering had become my only concern in life. Anne began tiptoeing around, picking up the recycling, while I collected what was left of my life, my shin, and later the rest of the millions of paper slips on the sidewalk. I limped inside to survey the damage and found this. Bitches.

I proceeded to administer first aid to myself, and, in the process, discovered that the only large band-aids I had were the fake tattoo ones Grace gave me as a gag gift. And the large ones say "MOM" inside a heart. Super classy.

In closing, I would like to say "Rest in Peace" to my dreams of riding more comfortably on the plane ride (nothing like a goose egg on the back of your thigh for airline comfort), looking cute in my leggings (nothing like confusing bystanders as to whether I am waiting to board or looking for triage), or to meeting all the other interns without a large "MOM" bandage covering my shin (this was not a dream I was aware of having, yet, here I am at such a young age finding it snatched from my grasp). Yet, I remain hopeful for a good trip, having learned to watch out for The Posts of Damnation that may lie in wait.

BOOM!

2011-08-26T22:13:00.000-07:00

And that is how you pack 3.5 months worth of stuff (for 2 seasons) into a pack, a carry-on shoulder bag, and a purse. (And you should know that that includes 5 bottles of biodegradable bugspray, ALL the shampoo, deodorant, lotion, sunscreen, blah blah blah, that I will need for the ENTIRE time, whereas normally I would just buy it there. PLUS a yoga mat (barf), hiking books, and an entire set of clothes devoted to working in a muddy garden. And maybe a stuffed animal.)

I have a few last-minute things to add that I really hope will fit, but other than that, I'm pretty much ready. I dyed my first article of clothing (unless you count tie-dye with a squirt gun in the 5th grade, woot to Heidi and Amy). I bought this lovely Columbia fleece from Goodwill for 3.99 but it was cream-colored and we all know my disastrous eating habits despite best efforts. So I dyed it. The intention was eggplant. The result was "royal purple" I believe my mom calls it. One of my less-favorite colors, but better than cream.

Now to cover some recent events. This past weekend I went with Anne, Steve, and Kyla to SLC to attempt to see Adele in concert. This time with great success. But before we did that, we all went to Lagoon. Twice. We rode all the scariest roller coasters and did all the water rides, too. Highlights: the drop-slide in the water park. I just felt really confused as to what was going on, but Anne says this is because I came out sideways, apparently. Listening to what came out of Anne's mouth when we did the "skycoaster" as I usually get punched for saying that. Steve trying to show off on a ride that shoots you up and then slams you down a pillar. It said don't look down, but he did it anyway and hurt his neck so that he had to swivel his entire self when turning to look at something. That was just unfortunate, not a highlight. The funny part came on the next ride. Similar to the Matterhorn at Disneyland, I believe. Where you and another person have to sit in the same car practically in each other's laps. Well, it's a rather violent ride and as you're whizzing around the corner, you're wondering why on earth there's no padding on the metal bars stabbing into your knees. And then coming around one particular corner, my neck was bent sideways, but then I was forced back onto Anne, and Anne popped my neck with her face as she shoved it sideways even more. This was all happening as I could hear Steve howling in pain behind us as his neck already hurt and then Kyla slammed his sunglasses onto his face with the back of her head coming around the same corner. We didn't actually ride that one ever again.

Then Anne and I went to Adele and I could gush for about a thousand million years about how amazing the concert was and how wonderful she was, but I won't. I will say that if you ever have a chance to see her live, TAKE IT.

All in all, an extremely lovely weekend.

Optimism flagging, but holding steady

2011-08-25T15:39:00.001-07:00

Maybe?

A brief writing--

2011-08-16T21:19:00.000-07:00

--in which the author mentions the following:

-She is now vaccinated for Typhoid, Yellow Fever, and HPV.
-Appreciates the nurse with the UK accent at the local clinic who said, "Awesome! You're going to love it there!" in response to my travel plans as opposed to the travel clinic PA who said fearfully, "Well. *breath* my kids have done some pretty unusual stuff *looks to the side* but nothing like this. Good luck." Wtf?
-Still thinks that diva cups are excellent.
-Washed the dishes today.
-Went rafting yesterday with her "nieces" and their parents, all of whom are super-smart. She set up ground rules for 20 questions that included, "Nothing mythical, super weird/unique, or something that you learned about at science camp" and still this was a response to a question, "Well, it's an idea that comes from a noun, and, yes, parts of it are cold." Love them. Love rafting.
-Made a new resolution to stop being afraid of swimming and learn how to swim better.
-Had a very successful headband-themed birthday party and appreciated her friends' evaluations of headbands that were "not weird enough."
-Is very excited to go see Adele and have wild fun at Lagoon this weekend.
-Is slowly but surely getting things in order for her trip. And still can't believe she's crazy enough to do it.
-Is becoming more tech-savvy and can post videos and recently learned about the lovely world of Pinterest.
-Is choosing to share the following silly song with you because it's on "Play Often" on iTunes.

Allergies of an unusual sort

2011-08-10T20:00:00.000-07:00

So "Tristan" was being difficult during kitchen duty and was asked to leave the area, so I let him know we'd be outside on a work crew. Then this happened.

"Tristan": Fine. But I'm NOT going to the sunflowers. [looks away] I had a bad experience with the sunflowers.
Me: Um, okay. Soo...[proceed to tell him what had just popped into my mind...an image of a possessed sunflower actively trying to strangulate him.]
Tristan: [Look of "oh-my-god-and-I-thought-I-was-a-weird-kid"] Uh, no.
Me: So what happened then?
Tristan: Well, Mr. "Bill" made me go out there even though I hate the sunflowers and so I threw a rock at his head because I am deathly afraid of bees and they ALL live in the sunflowers.
Me: Oh. Okay. So you're allergic to bees then?
Tristan: [pauses] Mentally? Yes.

New Calculations

2011-08-06T22:08:00.000-07:00

The following conversation happened between a student who wanted to go to another building at work, was told no, and then went anyway. We'll call him "Winston"

Me: Winston, what's going on?
Winston: Well, I wanted to come down here but you guys wouldn't let me. It's what I wanted to do all along if you staff would just use your logic. *rolls eyes*
Me: Right, but do you know why I wanted you to stay up there?
Winston: No.
Me: Because with you down here, that leaves this staff with 8 boys and the other with 2. That's not a good ratio.
Winston: So? If you guys would just send the other kids away so I could be down here, none of this would've happened.
Me: [gently] Yes, but Winston, the world does not revolve around you.
Winston: Yes. It does. I've done the math.

Someday, someone, somewhere

2011-07-27T19:54:00.000-07:00

Not sure why I feel the desire to post so many songs lately, but I do! Loving the Civil Wars' version of a Cohen classic.

Dance Me to the End of Love:

Changes and gifts, simple and otherwise

2011-07-21T10:49:00.000-07:00

As much as I talk about being a free spirit and "bebopping around", really, I much prefer change that I've chosen. So, for example, when I go to my co-workers house to help her pack up 8 years of time here, that won't be my favorite. It's a good reminder about the transient gift of relationships, about not taking for granted the short time you might have with someone and other cliché things of that nature.

I'd like to salute her--one of the main reasons I still work where I do. When I first started as one of 4 females in an almost-entirely male dominated workplace,the boys were shattering my illusions of control, respect, and how I saw myself and she grabbed me by the elbow and said, "Don't you EVER back down, or you'll be backing down the rest of your time here." So I wiped the tears off, tipped my chin up and showed those boys what I was made of, both the ones I worked with and for. She reminded me to work hard, be firm, be fair, and do it with a motive to help these boys succeed and make it in a world that could care less what their reasons for acting out are. I've since learned the difference between backing off and backing down and how to respect myself and the boys I'm helping. Another friend once reflected gratefully on her decision to be friends with people outside her age group. And I'm glad I did the same with my co-worker because I don't think I could've made it without her.

Other changes are not quite so hard to swallow. The new computer arrived, and I said a bittersweet goodbye to El Dinosaurio who started cooperatively at first, but parted bitterly, refusing to receive power and let me transfer the last of my music. I filled out my vaccination form, ordered more biodegradable cosmetics, discovered the glory of Savers when I was shopping for gardening clothes, and had a nice conversation with a Verizon rep on how to stop service on my cell while I'm out of the country. (If you've never chatted with them, they're pretty legit and you actually talk to normal people who are fairly quirky.)

Aaron Copeland, anyone?

6 Tips on Mowing the Lawn

2011-07-04T12:55:00.000-07:00

I have decided to share some wisdom on lawnmowing that I have learned in my time.

1) Unless you spend about a million dollars, they're all cursed. And the million dollar ones are probably all cursed, too, I just don't have experiences with mowers of that price range.

2) Don't lie to yourself. You will be thwarted. You will be pwnd before the lawn gets mwnd. <--definitely invented that one.

3) While you are being pwnd, you may find a temporary high in exhibiting displays of rage--kicking the lawnmower, using words that require all symbols to type and that would cause your mother to throw you out of a moving vehicle if you said them in the car, etc. But it's really freaking the neighbors out, and besides, you need all that energy you're devoting to telling your lawn mower exactly where it can go and what painful surgeries you're going to perform on it. Why?

4) Because you need to spend precious moments of your summer not drinking tea, not swimming, not setting off fireworks, but pulling that goddamn starter cord. And that noise? It's not the motor trying to start. It's the mower laughing at your naive optimism in thinking it will fire up in fewer than 16 yanks. It is also making bets, telepathically, with other neighborhood lawnmowers on how long it takes before you are reduced to tears, begging the mower to just, please, just start, lavishing praise on all its lawnmowing glory, attempting to be one with the mower.

5) And stop talking to the mower. A few expletives here and there are understandable. But when you speak directly to your mower, saying, "You know, it is quite possible that I am beginning to hate you even more than the last mower," you will look up to find your neighbor no longer pretending to water his lawn, but staring at you with his mouth open because you are talking to a very inanimate object. It doesn't matter that the only reason you are talking to it is because it is currently inanimate.

6) There is only one option. You must set your jaw, and prepare to spend 2-3 times as long as you think will be necessary, and start and restart that infernal machine as many times as it takes to get the lawn mowed. Only consistent persistence will prevail.

Good luck.

Breathing Now

2011-06-27T21:41:00.000-07:00

What a weekend. After working a lot of shifts and sleeping little, I went full force into a Sisterhood Wedding. Coordinating a wedding FOR a sister WITH the sisters is not something to be trifled with. I've never coordinated a wedding before, and it's not that it involved any more work than anybody else had to do, but I knew if something went wrong that if anyone's name was associated with it, it would be mine. Or worse, Ashlee's. But, it all went off beautifully without a hitch and we ended up having a lot of fun, Ashlee was, of course, gorgeous, and we danced like nobody's business when it was all over. Plus, I got to use walkie talkies and that makes most anything worth it.

Add a lot of gatherings, preparations, and one awesome birthday party for Sydney, and I am tired out. Seeing old friends is good for the heart and it was all worth it... I especially enjoyed Modified Kickball. It begins the same as normal kickball. However, as you're running between first and second, one of your teammates at home plate can throw a football to you and if you catch it...bonus points! Additionally, at third base, there is a set of ladderballs. As you are coasting through home plate, without stopping, you have one opportunity to throw the ladderball. If you are successful in landing it...bonus points! Go here to find out what ladderball is if you're unsure.

The 8th Avenue Bibliophages (aka Alli and myself) had their first official meeting tonight complete with secret gavel smash-in. I haven't read anything above Slightly Challenging since college, I'm pretty sure, so I'm tackling Dostoyevsky and she's tackling James Joyce. We are pretty impressed with our ability to instantly create clubs with ease while simultaneously maintaining a high nerdiness level. Expect quotations.

Plans for Argentina continue. This mostly consists of me complaining about how little I have managed to save up. But I took some Spanish classes online via Skype and learned a lot, so I'm feeling more comfortable about that.

I've also realized that my blog has become pretty boring. I'm not really sure why, but I'll be looking into that and seeing what I can do to make some changes. In the meantime, keep it real on the streets. Also, here's a really great shot of how I apparently look playing frisbee.

Something to think about

2011-06-04T22:39:00.000-07:00

One of my current favorite songs. This video is SUPER cheesy, but there isn't an official video for this one. Check out these guys, they're pretty fantastic and the lyrics are worth thinking about, too.

Most accurate lyrics found here.

www (not just for the world wide web anymore)

2011-05-30T23:25:00.000-07:00

WhirlWind Weekend

So. We moved. Alli, Anne, and I all live a smaller house in downtown. We can walk/bike to the grocery store and coffee shops/restaurants, etc. I did that anyway, but now I don't have to nearly kill myself using 16-lane stops (that one goes out to you, Jenny, "So what".) It's a cute, old house with tons of nooks, crannies, built-in storage, light switches that go to nothing or to something in another room, etc. We started things off right by me locking us out of the garage and Steve having to bust in.

Friday and Saturday where a wild frenzy of packing, cursing, and cleaning. Just a heads up, moving large furniture with sharp corners down the stairs by yourself...not a good idea. Sunday, I got up, loaded the car and drove solo down to Salt Lake to see my beloved ADELE in concert. There are only 2 artists on the planet I would drive 5 hours to another state to see, and she's one of them. You can imagine my devastation when she had to cancel her show due to illness. I have great faith, however, that she will reschedule and I will be seeing her on the 25th. So, I spent the night driving around, looking at cool old buildings, visiting Whole Foods, and watching Animal Planet in the cool hotel I booked on priceline. Check it out. www.peeryhotel.com And then I drove back in time for work today. Yeehaw. The moment I most appreciated tonight was when a boy got angry and decided to argue with me/curse me out while SIMULTANEOUSLY trying to eat snack. The result was a goldfish cracker stuck to his lip and flapping around with every "hell no."

I really should sleep. Keep it real out there, readers.

Recent happenings from various hoods

2011-05-23T10:24:00.001-07:00

Okay. Let's all catch up, shall we?

1) I am motherfing dairy and gluten free now. After some bloodwork, I discovered I was pretty allergic to pretty much all kinds of dairy (my doctor even advised me to stay away from yak milk. True story.) So I went on an elimination diet for dairy, pineapple, cranberries, bananas, buckwheat, asparagus, and sesame seeds...all things my body supposedly hates. But I still had my continual sniffles/throat clearing. So then my doctor said, "Cut out gluten, it's the next most likely culprit." After some tearful moments, I promptly ate some gluten-filled tortillas and bid gluten goodbye. This is day three and I have a ton more energy (I feel like I've had coffee before I've actually had it) and I can breathe much easier. HOWEVER, there is still some nonsense going on with my sinus system. I'm not sure I'm willing to eliminate anything else because eating out is a pain in my ass because I can pretty much have a glass of orange juice while everyone else slathers cheese-filled pasta all over their face. Okay so no one I know slathers pasta on their face, but they could. I would feel the same way. :) So we'll see.

2) I bought a new pack for our backpacking trip this summer, but mostly for Argentina. It's red and beautiful. We are growing closer every day.

3) We found a house. Not where I had originally wanted, but it's super cute, old, and has a ton of random nooks, crannies, and fuse boxes. One of the fuses is literally labeled, no joke, "jail closet" hahaha. Guests, no funny business or you're going to the jail closet and we're blowing the fuse. So now we are in the tedious business of moving, which is one of the most annoying tasks on the planet, in my opinion. Maybe in the galaxy.

4) I'm going to be a shift manager in June. Yikes. Way more responsibility, so we'll see how that goes.

5) I'm going to Utah this weekend to see ADELE!!! I am excited out of my mind, minus the fact that I'm going alone. I've never been to a concert alone, so I hope it meets all my wildest dreams. If anyone is passionate about seeing Salt Lake for part of one day, feel free to ride along! :D

P.S. Congrats to these kids...one for getting married and the other one for graduating!

A letter

2011-05-14T20:56:00.000-07:00

Dear Facebook,

If I had to assign a point value to you disabling my account and not replying to me for 2 days and counting, I would give it

NEGATIVE SIX. -6

Sincerely,
Disgruntled Facebook User

Globetrotter

2011-05-10T00:12:00.000-07:00

So I guess I'll be going to Argentina then. At 2:04 this morning, my ticket was officially purchased. Before then, I was re-crunching the budged I made a few months ago. Due to a highly unfortunate math error on my part, I actually have much less than I thought, so it's poorsville for me this summer. But it will be worth it. Here's what I'll be doing for three months:

An in-depth internship program to individuals interested in getting hands-on experience in the different aspects of Sustainable Living: organic gardening, natural food production, earthen and natural building, seed saving, and community living. Participants will have the opportunity for personal growth through shared learning and responsibility for providing for ones basic needs. The internship consists of full days of learning, problem-solving, discussing, and exploring in a positive working environment of like-minding people. The program also provides opportunity to have ample breaks, swim in the waterfall and rivers, practice yoga and meditation, and eat delicious foods.

Topics of Focus:

Natural Building: We will be constructing an Earthen building with our hands and feet! We will explore and play with various natural building techniques: bamboo, wood, earth, including adobe bricks, cob, and wattle-and-daub. We will cover foundation, design principles, wall construction, plaster and natural painting, roofing, and creative use of site-found and salvaged materials.
Organic Gardening: We will be making garden beds, composting, amending the soil, planting and transplanting. Other topics we will explore: seed saving, companion planting, natural pesticides, and more.
Extended Sustainable Ideas: Jarring and preserving, milk-product making (cheeses, yogurts, etc), fermentation, cultivation of micro-organisms for health and garden, alternative refrigeration, alternative energies, “appropriate technologies,” reforestation, chicken care, and herbal medicine making. There will also be plenty of space to explore projects of personal interest and intrigue, and for practicing yoga, meditation, massage, medicinal plant searches, nature hikes, waterfall and river swimming.

So there you have it. In a nutshell. My most hare-brained scheme to-date. I started online spanish classes to prepare myself for Argentinian spanish. Oh, and for those of you who have seen Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull...those waterfalls aren't too far away from where I'll be. Come visit.

I was pushing a warshing machine up a hill...

2011-04-18T23:06:00.000-07:00

It seems like my blogging rate is about once a month now. Not that hilarious stuff isn't happening to me, but my rate has slowed. So in this months blog let's reflect upon...

-Iryna came to visit! Yeah. 8 years after I last saw her in high school, she showed up on my doorstep and it didn't seem to matter that so much time had passed. That's the way that it is with good friends though, right? We talked and cooked and caught up on almost a decade and when she left I had a firm hope that it won't be 8 years next time.

-We're trying desperately to move and have combined forces with Syd and Hannah to hopefully find something soon. I'd love to live in the north end, but finding something big enough in our price range is proving to be rather tricky.
http://www.blogger.com/img/blank.gif
-The travel bug is grumbling less because it finally got fed. As in, I applied to a few programs and have been accepted to some of them. The tricky part will be deciding which one is the best fit. Some may be safer than others, but have better programs overall, or some may have better travel opportunities but not have any Spanish focus. (These are organic farming/sustainable living internships btw.) So we'll see.

In conclusion, I will leave you with this video which is very helpful in stressful family situations with the grandmother:

http://www.hulu.com/watch/72441/saturday-night-live-target

Words of Wisdom to Live By

2011-03-22T23:54:00.000-07:00

We went "adventuring" today, which mostly consists of wandering around with the boys and exploring streams and climbing trees and rocks and looking for signs of spring. Loved it. Favorite quote:

[One of my little guys comes walking up, noticeably wet and much dirtier than a few moments prior. A little agitated as if concerned that this is something the world needs to know]
LG: New rule. NO spinning moves if you're on a rock with moss that is also really wet.

Cherish

2011-03-22T23:29:00.000-07:00

1, 2. Cherish, foster, harbor imply giving affection, care, or shelter to something. Cherish suggests regarding or treating something as an object of affection or as valuable: to cherish a friendship. Foster implies sustaining and nourishing something with care, especially in order to promote, increase, or strengthen it: to foster a hope; to foster enmity. 2. nurse, nourish, sustain.

So I took a 10-day vacation and went to Portland. It was good for the soul. I got to spend time with people I love to the bottom of my heart and back out the top again. And I think that it's very important to take these times where we remember that the world is very much bigger than the little plots we live our daily lives in. And outside our little plots are realms upon realms of possibilities, responsibilities, and people who taste colors.

I came home and realized that my brave little ficus had gone from 2 leaves to about 8 while I was out and I feel that I have done the same. Thanks to good chats, and laughing, and films, and trips to the beach in the pouring rain, and my BFF Crossroads, and bubble tea, and inappropriate conversation in public places, and books, and walks, and a million other tiny moments, I feel like I'm looking at the next stage of life with hope and a little excitement instead of jumping from a gloomy present into an equally gloomy future.

Bugs

2011-02-24T20:19:00.001-08:00

So I had this realization. After growing up in a religious setting where being a missionary was just about the tip-top of the pyramid, an idealization formed. And somewhere along the way I developed this idea that the ultimate best thing I could do with my life was to move to some desolate village, wear horribly unfashionable clothes (sorry missionaries), serve "the poor", and eat weird foods including, but not limited to, bugs.

Grab your machetes. Let's quickly slash through the gross cultural stereotyping, potential ethnocentric landmines, nationalism, etc. and get to today's qualm.

That paradigm never shifted. The religious component slowly trickled away but the fashion, the "poor" (I know I am being all kinds of politically incorrect here), and the bugs are still very vivid. So I was talking with someone about this the other day. And I expected him to bring up my tendency to assume that whatever is difficult, painful, and miserable must be the most noble option. Given two comparable options, I would assume that whatever option cost more for me would be the better of the two.

But he told me that I just needed to figure out what was out there, realistically. Take it from a vague idea to a concrete program. And then after that step, I should probably go do it. Because if I didn't, I'd spend the rest of my life regretting the loss and feeling like I missed out/wasted something/should have done something differently.

I gave it some thought. And I think he's got a good point, as evidenced by my stint in Spain. I had always wanted to live in Europe and somewhere around the 6th grade I started jonesing to get out of the small town I lived in. Would I have wasted my life if I had never crossed the ocean? Not necessarily. Would I have been a failure? Not necessarily. Yet did I still feel relieved, accomplished, and proud of myself afterward? Absolutely. I no longer feel the need to live there again. I would enjoy it, in smaller doses, but I don't feel any pressure anymore. Do I sound like a whiny little privileged girl? Probably.

Thus begins the search. I'm not sure what I'm looking for. Digging wells, for some reason, is the idea my brain is choosing to romanticize at the moment. Something without frills, something difficult, something challenging. I'm learning that I have to keep the balance of challenge tuned in my life. Too little challenge and the anxiety rises. Too much challenge and the exhaustion rises. Just enough challenge is a thrill.

I'd like to add 2 caveats: One, LASP helped me to begin, at least a little, to get rid of the savior mentality. The mentality that says (with or without knowing it) that, "Oh hey, my culture/race/country/whatever is so great. Let me help this lesser/weaker/whatever group because I am so magnanimous and noble." Nope. All I know is I want to go somewhere, and do something that benefits someone else. In a foreign country where I might have to eat bugs. 2) I will probably have a supernatural ability to power through the insects on account of my lifetime membership in the Banana Slug Club. Membership photo shown below.

I welcome your feedback.

2011-02-24T20:18:00.000-08:00

Mmm. The new Adele album. Buy it. Love it.

Fame comes early to some

2011-02-08T23:37:00.000-08:00

Maybe I'm just trying to find justification for something that has already happened, but I think that learning to laugh at really inappropriate things (while making sure consequences follow, of course), is a good skill to have in my trade. Thus I found the following interaction at work pretty hilarious. (Not for the easily offended.)

[Student has recently been moved outside to eat in the cold after being disrespectful inside]
Student: I don't see why you're such a f****** jerk.
Me: Mhm.
[More ranting which I ignored after which student stumbles across a kind of loop he proceeds to rap to me.}
Student: Ms. Kate, ye ye, you're a bi***, HEY, you're a who**, what, what, what, ye.

So, ladies and gentlemen, you can look for this hit single to be busting through the top 10 any day now!

I also found the following from a post about a year ago and I can only say BOOYAH!
"I got a job, totally unrelated to my major but related to pretty much all the jobs I've ever had, working with 10-15 year old boys. Discipline has definitely always been my weakness. Since I have a pretty strong personality, you would think that discipline comes naturally, but it actually makes me sick. Therefore, this job is gradually changing that. I don't know how long I'll last, but I'm giving it a good go while I'm there."

Yeep.

2011-01-16T14:25:00.000-08:00

Whoa man, kids. It's been a while since I just rambled on about nothing in particular (just kidding, that's what most of my blogs are). So here are some rambles.

1) I have taken up skiing. I really like it, especially because I'm picking it up quickly. Gone are the days of the pizza slice...mostly. And so far, I've survived some pretty terrific falls. Cartwheels down the mountain, really. Friday night's trip involved doing the splits and a lot of the f-word and then also a wild cartwheel that involved my friends asking if I was okay mid-tumble and me not realizing I wasn't done.

Friends: "Are you okay?!"
Me: "I'm okay!" *More tumbling* *pause* "Yeah I'm okay"
*extended hysterical laughter*

But overall I'm proud of this because I've wanted to do this for a long time and I finally just did it. By myself.

2) I have a boyfriend. His name is Peter and he's absolutely the most amazing thing ever. Bahahahahahah. Just kidding. I thought I would throw that in there for kicks and giggles and shock factor.

3) I talked to one of my friends from my Costa Rica program and re-triggered my wanderlust. For various reasons, I have deemed it wiser to stay here close to my family for the time being and into the summer. I've looked into various programs abroad, organic farming internships in the U.S., and none of them seem to suit my boat. And I reflect on all the tests I took and find-yourself classes I sat through and wonder why it's so difficult for me to find the next place I want to adventure to. Of course, there's no "right answer" but maybe I'm being too picky. I know I'd like to transition into a program. a) this is a greater opportunity for community/antidote for loneliness for people new to the area. b) I'd rather move with someone, but this gets a little risky as moving to a totally new place and knowing one person puts a big strain on the relationship. c) I'd like to find a low-strings attached type job where I can go and do it for a while, help people, and be in a new part of the world, but these jobs usually don't pay very much. So you go to a brand-new place without having the funds to explore it/pay off the car you will probably have to buy to get there in the first place.
Anne, Alli, and I talked about moving to Vermont and everything was looking good until I realized that sunny days per year is only 58. Even less than Portland. Yikes. These are the things that occupy my thoughts these days. That and how there is an overwhelming amount of good music out there that is not on my computer.

Word to your mother.

Best Excuse Yet

2010-12-06T23:28:00.000-08:00

Me: Hey! So-and-so. Who gave you permission to be in this room?
Student: No one, I just came in.
Me: Okay, you need to pull some cards.
Student: I am allowed to be in here!
Me: And why's that?
Student: Because[obviously frantically searching for a reason. Then, with sweeping arm motion and dead-serious face] I am the President!

Anatomy, anyone?

2010-11-12T23:32:00.000-08:00

1) That last post was 111. It will be a long time before I hit unanimous triple digits again.

2) This blog's story contains profanity, so if you're queasy, don't read.

3)

Me to one of the little guys at work: "Trevor", you need to take a shower, please.
"Trevor" [heated arguing, yelling, etc., ending with] NO!
Me: I notice that you're getting pretty upset, what do you need to do to get a lower energy level?
"Trevor": I'm not GONNA calm down because YOU are just pissing the fuck out of me!
Me [adopting a very solemn, concerned face] Oh no Trevor. That sounds painful. I think you'd better go to the bathroom, then.
"Trevor" [staring at me dumbfoundedly as the light begins to dawn] [Slaps forehead] Oh Ms. Kate. Oh my god. Oh sheesh. [laughter and general sheepishness.]

Antsy

2010-10-31T21:18:00.000-07:00

When I go to sign into my blog and Firefox doesn't autocomplete the address, I know it's time for a new post.

So, running with my vibram five fingers has been going well and I can now run on concrete with no problem. The only problem comes from reverting back to old tennis shoes or thinking I can take on the world without checking to see if my muscles are on board. As a result of some misunderstandings between various muscles/ligaments and I, I have a relatively bitter knee and foot, but now that the Farm Man 5K is over, I'm taking a month off from running to heal up and hopefully start running properly again someday. Speaking of the Farm Man, it was a 5K with obstacle course that Team Running (which I have decided to call Anne, Kyla, Teresa, and I since we do these things together) went to. It was pretty fun and I organized a group of boys/staff from work to go, and I liked having them there. It was nice to be the me that I am outside of work and not have to worry about whether we had everyone or not.

All this to say that I do all my physical activity that isn't in the rain or on gravel in my fivefingers. This, in turn, has made me an instant spokesperson for the shoe and I regularly get stopped and questioned by total strangers. Anne says this is good for my social skills. I say this is good for Vibram.

Also in the world of fitness, a few thoughts on the elderly at the gym. They are hilarious. First, the apparel. My experience is that there is no middle ground. They either come in dressed exactly how they would for casual Friday: jeans, button up shirts, etc., or they are dressed from head to toe in very serious workout gear. Such as the matching track suits with coordinating stripes, the sweatband on forehead and wrist. In surprising numbers, they kick my butt in many ways, from the treadmill to the weight-lifting class.

My renewed favorite thing to do is what I call "dragon biking." It's an exercise bike with a computerized screen that shows you an pretend course and adjusts the difficulty to correspond with the picture of whatever terrain you're biking on. Well, it also has a feature called "chases" where you bike around trying to get certain colored coins and then catch the dragon that matches. It sounds easy until you realize that some dragons are stationed on top of pyramids and you have to bike to them. I tried to convince Kyla to come with me to do this, but until I explained the concept thoroughly she thought I would be dragging her to an actual class where the instructor shouted mythical commands like, "PEDAL FASTER! DRAGON AHEAD! GET THAT DRAGON!" You understand why we are friends.

Team Ingrid (apparently I now refer to all groups of people in teams) went to renew our love of Ms. Michaelson, who did not disappoint, as usual. Guggenheim Grotto opened and I'm glad they did! Although the teenyboppers behind us were unable to understand their Irish accent and loudly told them so, they had some good stuff to perform.

I'll end this long, kind of boring blog with a quote from work.

[Student with limited social skills has returned from a home visit. I am in the med cart dispensing meds. Student is known to be funny at times, awkward at others.]

Student: Ms. Kate, wanna know where I've been?
Me (thinking he'll tell me about his home visit stops): For sure!
Student (attempts some sort of catwalk strut): I been bringin' sexy back.

P.S. I'm ready for an adventure.

No combination of words

2010-10-04T22:49:00.001-07:00

I miss these people and this day.

Adventuring

2010-09-13T23:06:00.000-07:00

I miss adventuring. Specifically the type that involves other countries and languages, particularly Spanish. I miss the type of people who live adventuring lifestyles. I've been home for a year and a half now...the longest I've lived in the country in 3ish years and the longest I've stayed in this particular area since...2005 I think. I've been antsy for a while and the feeling definitely didn't go a way.

But there are a lot of reasons to stay put for a little while longer, at least. Like major surgeries for people I know or major graduations, and lots of people I care about being here. But after that, well. Since I have no particular life direction, I suppose I will just start looking until I find a job that sounds amazing and then go there.

In an effort to control myself from spontaneously boarding a plane, I decided to catapult into the sky. This is a real thing. You can do this at Lagoon. Youtube the following terms: Catapult at Lagoon, Skycoaster at Lagoon, and Wicked at Lagoon. I did all this and more. I must say, I never thought I would launch into the sky (enormous swing was in the realm of possibilities), but catapulting was very worth it. I can also say that I have never heard Kyla scream like that (or anyone, except in horror films), but we were both very brave.

Interesting notes about the Lagoon adventure park trip:
-I found a sock in my pants about an hour into the park day. It was from the day before and had hidden there. It was a good sock, so I stuffed it in my back pocket.
-While swinging several hundred feet on the enormous swing, a bug flew in my mouth mid-WOW! When you are going that fast, there is no getting the bug back out because he is plastered to the back of your throat.
-Utah is prettier while hanging upside down.

Medical Mysteries

2010-08-04T22:55:00.000-07:00

"Omar": MISS KATE! I lost my orthotics [a sole insert for bad feet] and my feet hurt!

Me: I bet they do! I have a friend who wears those and when she doesn't, or they get worn down, her back gets all out of alignment and her muscles really hurt and--

Omar: --and I get pinkeye sometimes.

Me: Bahaha. No. You do not get pinkeye from not wearing your orthotics.

Omar: [resignedly and matter-of-factly] Yes, Ms. Kate, it's just one of those things.

Unexpectedly long

2010-07-13T22:44:00.000-07:00

Well...yikes. I haven't blogged in a million years. Today's blog is about celebrating the lacerations on my back and upper arm.

You see, they are fairly mild and not terribly painful, but I got them from crouching inside a barrel and then rolling down (and, consequently, up, and back down again) a half pipe (a sort of u-shaped skateboard ramp). It was a good day at work. I can say, without a trace of doubt, I never thought I would ever roll down a ramp in a barrel, let alone as part of my job.

Other things I never thought would be part of my job:

-Cleaning black stuff out of horse troughs. And enjoying it.
-Falling backwards off of said horse trough into mud. And laughing about it.
-Wearing Run Watch clothing while aforementioned muddy clothes were washing and drying. And looking like Christmas in July.

I've worked hard to get to this spot, dammit, and I'm going to celebrate it. Celebrate all the blow-ups, and the aggression, and the Fuckyougotohellbitch nights. Celebrate the Ihateyou's and the whining/complaining/nagging. Celebrate the tears and the laughter and the silliness and the nicknames and all the emotional outpouring I've put into this job. Celebrate the moment I realized this isn't just a "job" and I don't always get to just clock out and not think about it anymore. Celebrate the boys who work their asses off to conquer stuff that most grown-ups I know have never had to conquer, in a setting that would drive anyone mad. Celebrate me growing and learning to stand my ground. Learning what it means to love someone even when they, literally or figuratively, spit in your face. Learning to protect people who swear they don't need it, but scream it with their silence. Learning to give, and to forgive. Learning to lose the small battles (most difficult) in order to win the war. Learning to let my guard down. Learning not to take crap and to stand up for myself. Learning to laugh while sprinting up and down cheat-grass covered hillsides in 90 degree weather. Learning to do all this and not give up. Despite all the mistakes. Because, then, when I'm lucky, a kid pulls me aside, reads me an apology letter, and tells me he's ready to turn a new leaf.

Henceforth...

2010-06-14T23:37:00.000-07:00

From now on, you may refer to me by my new name, given to me by a student at work this evening:

Mrs. Fuck.

And I think to myself...

2010-05-16T22:03:00.000-07:00

Aside from being pretty miserable with a head cold/whining about being miserable with a head cold, this was a pretty great weekend. Let's just review some of the highlights, shall we?

-Anne, Kelsi, and I revealed to Sydney, Kyla, and Steve, that the cake they received earlier this week from their "block captains" was actually not from their "block captains." They had rightfully been shocked that anyone could think the "Trail Mix Cake," as it was called, was good enough to share with neighbors. The cake had, in fact, been constructed by us after we cleaned out our pantry. Main ingredients were: Slim-Fast, instant mashed potatoes, and mint hot chocolate mix. We also included dried-out marshmallows, actual trail mix, pancake mix, and broccoli soup. We threw in an egg and some oil, made an official "block captain" letterhead, and dropped it off at Kyla's house. Bwah. ha. ha.
-We had a graduation party for Kelsi. Fun times gathering people together to celebrate. I also became so mesmerized by the membership sign at Costco that I rammed into the guy ahead of me with the party cake. Luckily no damage was done.
-Carly and Ty got married. Lovely wedding that they totally made fit them. Not vomitous at all. It just seemed fitting to watch my childhood friend who used to shove grass in my braces marrying my childhood neighbor who used to play elaborate police-style games with me and our sisters.
-And I have amazing roommates. This is for real.

...what a wonderful world

Momentous Event in History

2010-05-11T23:02:00.000-07:00

Today was a pretty fantastic day and here is why.

I AM THE GRAND PRIZE WINNER AT THE GYM.

You should know that I have never been the grand prize winner of anything and I was expecting to win a pencil. So, obviously I was ecstatic, as was Emely since we were in it to win it together from the start. And now we will be enjoying dinner out, massages, and a night at a hotel via grand prize.

Then. Lunch with the ever-hilarious Ashlee who allowed me to interrupt our lunch with phone calls/high pitched squealing to people about my grand prize

Then. My boys just made my heart so happy at work. I was "the only staff who is not an idiot" to the 10-year-old. And then I took a group off campus to do a clean-up and they did so amazingly well. One of those rare times when everyone in the group is looking out for the welfare of everyone else and willing to make compromises. I could care less if they all grow up to be brilliant scholars or "successful" billionaires. If they can treat each other with the dignity and respect they did tonight, well, my job is done.

Hulk-in-training

2010-04-30T22:08:00.000-07:00

So I think that blogs where people go on about how awesome they are generally come across to the rest of the world as extremely annoying. This does not, however, stop me from spouting off something I am proud of. You will need a microscope for this next part.

With the help of your microscope, you may notice small muscles beginning to form. This is actually a live photo taken of my arm. Believe it if you dare, but it is actually slightly more pronounced in real life. This is because, for the past 6 weeks, my roommate and I have been doing a fitness challenge at our gym that involved doing some sort of activity/healthy habit about 7 days a week. As was the goal, I had to branch out and try new things. Thus, I learned that the weight-lifting class that looks so scary is actually not scary at all. Water fitness classes are entirely survivable and senior citizens provide a good dose of humility while they kick my trash. I also learned that senior citizens are very chatty and sometimes they only kick my butt because they are not actually doing anything. Being a recovering perfectionist means that the bar is usually too high for me to really be proud of myself, but I was proud of this one!

2010-04-29T22:49:00.000-07:00

I appreciate this song.

Lee Brice - Love Like Crazy

Evening Shit Summary

2010-04-12T22:39:00.000-07:00

Title taken from a work document typo tonight. Best typo yet.

Well, life actually hasn't been shitty at all lately. Highlights:

1) Emely and I continue to blaze through out Bingo challenge at the gym.
2) As a result of the above, I have been forced to learn Kettlebell and water aerobics. I've been taking H20 Fit, or as I like to call it, Seniors Being 1000 Times Better Than Me at Aquatic Activities. The first time Emely and I went, it was 6 in the morning after a night of little sleep for both of us. Naturally, we became much more interested in doing the YMCA with the music than swimming, so the entire class was pretty confused by us. Today, I got my ass kicked by a bunch of 70 year olds.
3) On Saturday, Ria and her cousin picked me up and we went on the longest one-day road trip I've been on. Stopped in Pocatello to eat Mexican food with Allyson. Bad idea. Let's just say that different windows were intermittently rolled down for the rest of the trip. Then in Logan to see Amanda, where we all learned the difference between temples, tabernacles, churches, stakes, and wards. And also that the citizens of Logan have little to no landscaping inclinations and have placed enormous boulders on their lawns in order to compensate for lack of grass. This is just a picture that I got off the internet, but one house even bouldered up onto the hill behind it. We knew by that mark that they were the richest in the subdivision. Then to Park City to pick up Todd and have dinner with Greg. Wild.

POST 100! Pickle Patrol.

2010-03-20T21:57:00.000-07:00

I've been waiting for a great event to come along that would be 100th-post-worthy. And let me tell you, I found it.

As many of you know, I am extremely fond of order in the household. Not that everything has to BE in order, but it should HAVE an order just in case I wanted to put it there. Which is why the enormous jar of pickles in our garage was a problem for me. You see, no one knows where it came from or why it's been in our garage so long. And I had no place to put it when I went on my garage cleaning rampage a few months ago. I've been jonesing to get it out of here and tonight, Emely and I hatched a plan.

While the rest of our roommates were at the Jason Alpenis concert, we loaded up the jar of pickles in the trusty backpack I've had since high school.

Emely brought her backpack, which she also has had since high school, "just in case we find anything while we're out."

We then composed this note:

After that, we rode around our neighborhood on our bicycles until we found a very proper-looking one-story house with a nice looking lawn and daffodils. And we left it in their driveway.

Unfortunately, before departing, the pickle jar tipped over and leaked all over my backpack, causing me to smell faintly of vinegar the entire voyage. This happened twice.

Since we still had daylight left, we rode to a path that Emely knew of with some ancient runes spray painted on it. We stopped to chat with some horses when Em decided to get rid of some excess spit she had in her mouth. Her technique is really pretty incomprehensible and can best be described as a sort of wind up and pitch action. Unfortunately, during the second launching, she wasn't really paying attention to the direction of the wind and spat directly into my face. That was neat. Emely was unable to stand due to laughing so hard about the spit on my face.

We then decided to cross a bridge across the canal. Here, Emely is featured "moving up in the world" from the sloth butt scoot she performed going the other way. All in all, a fantastic ride.

You owe me 5 dollars for that

2010-03-15T23:00:00.000-07:00

Oh man, kids, this is my 99th blog. Blog 100 is just around the corner. How momentous!

I have not been doing a very good job of logging the hilarious moments that happen in my life. Recently Anne turned 21 so we took her out for her birthday. Although the Piper Pub currently owns far too many of my dollars, we had a good time. We also did a little karaokeing later. More or less, we were the third worst group of singers in the place for a good amount of time. But then the girl who wanted to sing "Family Portrait" a half-step off the entire time made us all feel better. The title of the blog comes from the guy who sat on a stool with his back to Alli, but somehow managed to rub his butt against her periodically. When they decided to address this issue, the man informed her that he should charge her $5 for the experience he had given her. Alli did not pay him.

Recently I had a conversation with my 11-year-old twin nieces (I adopted them, okay) about the value of ear-piercing. They come from a no-nonsense (in the realm of appearances), but very imaginative family. So I asked them if they were every going to get their ears pierced, and they replied matter-of-factly: Please. You have wrists, and a neck, and fiiiiingers. Why do you need one more place to hang jewelry off of? You already have plenty.

Peace, love, and harmony.

The Disappointment of Turkeys in Adult Life

2010-02-15T23:41:00.000-08:00

Ria: "Yeah! It was like, when you were little, turkeys were these magical creatures that brought you all this happiness, and then you grow up, and you're like, 'What?'"
Kate: "I know, I used to think turkeys were a lot cuter and then you see them and you realize they're really ugly."
Ria: "I know."
Kate: "Wait. *pauses* I never actually thought turkeys were magical creatures that brought me all this happiness. I just didn't know they were so ugly."

The way it is

2010-02-14T10:54:00.000-08:00

Squadron: It's time for an update.

Some changes in the house. We have secured a chore chart complete with photos. Shuffling the housemates around a bit and moving Kyla out next month (something about buying her own house and not wanting to pay on two things whatwhat), but the oh-so-glamourous Alli Bedalli will be moving in by June. Fantastico.

I continue to work with children who are unsure if Satan and I are two separate beings, or, in fact, the same entity. Occasionally the sun peeks through the clouds and they are shocked to discover that I am a very nice human being indeed.

I attended a wedding for a co-worker in the fine town of Sweet recently. You know you live in a small town when you have to cross a cattle guard to get to your church. A good time nonetheless.

Let's end with some quotes from work, shall we?
[From the slightly-young-in-the-head-and-emotions 14 year old as he looks out the window pondering life] "Ms. Kate?" "Yeah." "What's so great about maturity, anyway?"
[From the 9 year old exuberantly trying to volunteer information during the Q&A session in a religious class] Teacher - "Mecca...where IS Mecca?" Kid - "It's a mineral!!!"

Unexpected

2010-01-31T11:06:00.000-08:00

This blog is dedicated to the sunny hilarity that is my roommate Emely. I have come to have a new appreciation for her and the unexpected things that come flying out of her mouth. Some recent, enthusiastic examples:

"I just LOVE to see things growing! I just look at it and I'm like, 'Good job! Way to grow!'"

*Breathlessly* "Katelin! I just found the most perfect book. It describes me. I read it to my first graders."
Me - "Yeah?! What's it called?"
Em - "Grandfathers Journey."

I have never met anyone who congratulates things for participating in natural phenomena, i.e. plants growing, finding her dog drier after letting the dog lay on a rug for a while, etc., but I feel it's probably a pretty good outlook to have. So, Em, good job on being alive. I appreciate you despite never having eaten your pistachio salad.

My Dear Acquaintance

2010-01-01T22:39:00.000-08:00

Greetings from the hearth fire of my home which actually does not have a fire and I'm at my desk anyway.

I recently purchased a Roald Dahl calendar for 50% off and as I was updating it, flipping through last years' calendar, it occurred to me that this year has been quite the ride. Let's recap, shall we?

*I have to confess, I rang in 2009 in the most badass way to-date. I was in the center of Spain in a huge plaza with thousands of people doing the equivalent of the ball drop in NY. I managed to conquer the tradition of eating 12 grapes before the end of the 12 strokes of midnight as fireworks were shooting off everywhere.
*I spent 5 more months in Spain and a couple weeks in Italy. I got to see things and visit places that used to just exists in textbooks. :) All with Astin. All of it a huge growing process. Lots of painful, some of it really frustrating. Some of it ridiculously hilarious, and much of it pleasant. It left me wondering...what next. That had been my dream since I was wrong, it was the proof I needed to believe that I would escape my small town. Well I did it, and the future remains ambiguous as ever, but I grow more okay with that.
*Astin and I sprinted home to our families and I spent the next few months living at home, visiting friends, working for my dad, and taking a really amazing trip with some of the raddest people I know down to California to visit some other really rad people. I also went backpacking for the first time. I almost died, or at least felt like it, but getting to the top of the mountain was definitely worth it. :D
*I got a job, totally unrelated to my major but related to pretty much all the jobs I've ever had, working with 10-15 year old boys. Discipline has definitely always been my weakness. Since I have a pretty strong personality, you would think that discipline comes naturally, but it actually makes me sick. Therefore, this job is gradually changing that. I don't know how long I'll last, but I'm giving it a good go while I'm there.
*I became co-president of the rollerblading club I invented.
*I moved in with 3 people I already loved and one that I had never really met but now I love her too. Partially because we are probably both clinically insane.
*I got trapped on the top of a mountain in a snowstorm. Luckily I was in a suburban with 3 other people and a very smelly, wet dog.
*I ran my first 5K (about 3 miles). I am not aware that I have ever run 3 miles consecutively, so this was an accomplishment for me.
*Various friends have come to visit and The Sisterhood even had an almost-complete reunion.
*I got to celebrate Christmas with my family after being apart last year. And my grandma ended the year with a bang by eating a Hollywood Stars Liver Treat for dogs.

2009 was a big year. I honestly don't know if I'm a better person. I know I learned some things, and I know I should have learned others. Since I'm making that post-college relationships transition a year later than most of my friends, it's been a learning year. It makes me think that people who understand who you are, appreciate it, and want to see you grow are much rarer than I originally assumed. I am more aware of the smaller moments that are spaced further apart now. I'm pretty pumped about the people in my life who are those good things for me.

Hollywood Stars

2009-12-27T22:53:00.000-08:00

I'm wondering if I get a prize for 100 blogs. I'd like a medal. I much prefer medals over trophies except when I prefer trophies over medals.

Christmas this year went off pretty smoothly. Nothing wild and fancy, just a small family gathering. Padre was in rare form this year busting out many hilarious moments including when he decided to adopt my sister's phrase--"frickin' deluxe". You don't know the full scope of that phrase till it comes out of the mouth of your 53 year old father. There was also the moment when he looked at the package of Milky Ways he received for backpacking trips and declared, "Oh Milky Ways! We will have many special adventures!"

Hands down, however, the highlight of hilarity came from my grandmother, who at 86, had forgotten to turn up her hearing aids. I handed her a box of dog treats and said, "Grandma, our dog got some treats for Christmas, you should feed him one." She responded with, "Mmm! Smells nice!" I said, "I don't think so. They're liver treats." It was taking her a moment to get settled, so I turned my attention elsewhere. Seconds later, I heard the booming voice of my father shouting, "GRANDMA! GRANDMA!" As she is very hard-of-hearing, it took her a minute to stop chewing. "What?" That's when my dad shouted, horrified, "That's dog food!" My grandma paused to spit out the wet, half-chewed treat into her hand and examine it closer. Then she fed it to the dog who saw nothing wrong with the scenario. As she smacked the remains in her mouth she said, "Hm! Tastes just fine to me!" Oh g-ma.

Odds and Ends

2009-12-21T22:30:00.000-08:00

I realize that most of my work stories are "had-to-be-there" types. But I think this one will transfer.

I am driving our oversized van full of kids. We have a lot of Jewish students so one student pops his contemporary CD into the CD player. First off, Hebrew rap is an experience in itself. Secondly, all the other boys were whining. Then a song, very obviously still in Hebrew, yet with a miniscule mariachi feel to it, came on. One of the kids pipes up:

"I feel like I'm in frickin Mexico!"
Me, dryly - "Good. Enjoy the sun."
Student, needing a comeback, "No, like reTARded Mexico."

I was not actually aware of that geographical region. But this is the sort of thing I listen to every day.

In other news, I have a lovely bunch of friends and I got to celebrate Christmas with them this weekend. Let's just say that a lot of interesting joke material comes from high pressure games like Catch Phrase. I'm also pretty sure that all my presents are wrapped. Whoop!

Cranky

2009-12-14T22:53:00.000-08:00

I have written 90 posts, says blogspot. Who knew? Anyway, this blog is devoted to my current state of crankiness. Really, ranting about one's personal whines on an internet blog is pretty high on my pet peeves list, but reflecting on this double standard is only making me crankier.

It started tonight at work, when some of the kids were being royal pains in the ass. Oh and, by the way, the day after I blogged that last one, some boys, including "stan" were involved in a very spiteful act against me. And another kid told me my calm voice was antagonizing him. Whatever.

I read this Amy Adams/Meryl Streep interview the other day and Adams said something great about wasting her whole 20's looking for that special person. I think she's spot-on. Women's lib has come a long way, but ladies, I think we settle it a lot of ways. And it makes me cranky to wonder if I'm falling into that trap. The ideal for the female life should not be to find Mr. Wonderful and have a fabulous career while we're at it (because, yes, we've moved forward and career is now included in the package). I want to be enough by myself. That nonsense about meeting the person who completes you makes me throw up. It should be more like, "I'm complete, but life is a whole lot more interesting with you around." I'm frustrated because I think I AM enough and that I should really enjoy this semi-carefree time of life. So why, then, do I still wish I had someone to share it with? Now, let's not get carried away. I definitely am not ready for anything serious...some recent events only reinforced that. Just "a more significant companion" as someone recently put it. But.

My work schedule limits me to relationships I already have because I don't have the right time slots to go make new ones. And all my relationships have changed, anyway, leaving me feeling like one more appointment everyone has to cram into a slot. So I'm cranky. Cranky that I feel like a little life raft floating in a big ocean...caught in between the religious ideals that used to help me interpret life, and the big question mark that leaves everything open. Feeling like I'm everywhere and nowhere and too much and not enough.

Sounds quite dramatic, but cranky is the perfect word, because it's just that. A temporary emotion that usually gets better after enough consecutive nights of good sleep. And knowing that other people will be subjected to my embarassing psychobabble is a great way to send myself off to bed.

Trying to put together my desk chair and failing also makes me cranky.

While it's sunny...

2009-12-03T22:20:00.001-08:00

I work at a boys boarding school. For troubled 10-14ish year olds. I will tell you right now there is never a dull moment. I found the job on craigslist and had absolutely no idea what I was getting myself into. It started like this.

[On my commute home at 10:30 at night] *Insert sobbing* "No, Mom, this is the WORST possible job I could have taken.*

Of course, that was back in the day of the kids who hosed down the basketball court with fire extinguishers and pulled fire alarms. And of course, even then, my mom disagreed with me. And, of course, she was right.

So, I'm just pausing to reflect that I've grown in 3 months and it's been really painful. I lost my appetite, I stopped being able to sleep properly, and I got really quiet. But I'm coming back around. I am getting pretty comfortable in the nickname one of the boys called me once--"Wicked Bitch of the West." And I've started building relationships with the boys. Some of them still want to throw up and/or murder me when they see me coming, and that's okay. My job is to help them grow, not to make them like me.

Things that have meant a lot (in an environment where I've had no official reviews and get very little feedback from my co-workers or supervisors):

[When, after using my "ubercalm-drop-it-an-octave-and-several-decibels" voice to respond to some kid yelling and getting worked up, some other kid pipes up] "Miss Kate [as if I'm a little weird], WHY do you always use a calm voice?" [Good to know you miss the times when I forget and bark orders at you. Glad to know I'm doing my job.] And another kid piped up, "Because it's helpful."

"Ms. Kate, I HATED you when you first got here. HATED you." "I know 'Stan'. I KNOW you did." *Hug*

[Me] "Well, I know I'm not really a strong staff..." "No, what do you mean. You ARE a strong staff. That's why I put you up there."

This job isn't something I want to do forever. It gets pretty tiring when 28 boys go through cycles of hating you. And I mostly just deal with the emotional drama. I'm not often out in the cold/heat shoveling paths or moving rocks or cleaning up horse poop. I don't often get called for containments. But it's still draining sometimes. Even so, I love kneeling down, getting on their level, and helping them where they're at. These times, relative to the millions of times I have to set boundaries, enforce rules, and explain natural consequences, are fewer. But, boy, when that kid turns his head back your way and smiles through a face full of tears and says, "Thanks, Ms. Kate," well, it's worth it.

My Favorites.

2009-11-21T20:40:00.000-08:00

This month, my favorite...

Random voicemail:
"Um, this is Meg from the museum, and the concensus is we, we just can't sell our bricks. Uh. Thank you. Bye."

Quote from my adopted nieces:
Me (in response to seeing her dressed from head to toe in blue): You look very blue today. Is today national blue day?
Her: Well, the thing is. Sometimes I wear blue.

Excuse at work for why a student should be able to bend a rule. In this case, read outside the dining room:
"Miss Kate! I have a CLENCHING thirst."
"Well, then, drink some water for your 'clenching' thirst."
"No, it's like in my throat. It like cleeeeeenches there and the only thing that can distract me from it is that book."

Response from my sister when I told her to keep her cat under control:
"Well! What do you expect?! He's a cat on the loose!!!"

Family Outing

2009-10-18T21:08:00.000-07:00

Let's go back a few weeks to when mom and pop and their two kids headed out in the family vehicle to a little place called Deadwood Lookout. After they loaded up their gear, their trusty/slobbery hound Ellie, and enough firewood to construct another cabin should the original be missing, they set out.

I, as one of the kids, spent the majority of the ride passed out and learning why people buy "non-drowsy" Benadryl. Eventually I came to and discovered we were almost there. An hour later I discovered that "almost there" is a relative term. We spent quite a long time looking for the dirt turnoff that would lead us up to the cabin. We found it tucked away in some shady road construction after we tried several other dirt roads. During that process, Steve (Pop) claimed to have found a human femur to which Kyla (Mom) responded, "Shutup." All the following jokes about human femurs were met with similar responses.

We made it up to the the cabin and didn't do much that evening since it was late. The next day we did a lot of slingshot-ing and meadow leaping. For your information, a lot of meadow leaping is required if you want to secure a good meadow-leaping-photograph. You may consult Anne about the validity of this statement. After we achieved, well, most of us, achieved very high-quality leaping photos, we headed inside since it was starting to snow a bit and we still wanted light for game-playing. We played many a rousing round of Nerts, Cranium, and some game that involved multitasking (aka remembering to push the timer) and therefore was far too difficult. Nerts got a little heated (pronounced, "Kyla wasn't winning anymore,") so we had to take a mental break from that. All in all, a fantastic evening. We went to bed at a decent hour with snow still sprinkling around us.

2009-10-16T22:29:00.000-07:00

You know you work at a therapeutic boarding school for 10-14 year old boys when:

You walk into a room that smells overwhelmingly of cinnamon and think to yourself, "Man. It smells like somebody murdered the cinnamon fairy in here."

Happenings

2009-09-27T10:53:00.000-07:00

So, here's what's been going down. A few weekends ago, Julianne came for a hilarious visit. Unfortunately most of Thursday was devoted to me working :( The next day we made some pretty deluxe t-shirts and headed with them to the zoo. We spoke with several animals, and my personal favorites were the Warty Pigs and the Meerkats. There was dinner, frozen yogurt, some creepers, some bubble tea, and a general good time was had by all.

The next night was the third Saturday of the month, which we all know is the gathering of the local Contra Dance Society. You'd better believe we rocked that. Even Steve who developed a little beckoning motion he did with his hands to alert wayward dancers where to go enjoyed himself. I must say, the Portland society had more to offer, but this was a good experience.

There was also a trip to a nearby hot springs. A friend and I drove to one we saw on the internet but once we got there, we immediately changed the name to "Million People Hot Springs." This prompted our decision to hike to another one nearby. 2.5 miles later, we ran into some hunters who told us we were definitely on the wrong trail. Eventually, we found the hot springs and had a rolicking good time.

This weekend I began an endeavor into the world of tech decking. To learn what a tech deck is and what you can do with it, go here. Anyway, as with most of my hobbies, I'll probably be excited about it for a while and then get bored. I started it to show up the kids at work :D Then there was Jana's lovely wedding and hanging out with the sis.

On Saturday a fellow rockstart was in town and I got to meet her lovely baby who will probably be a rockstar herself. An outing with friends rounded off the night.

Discount Oats

2009-09-13T11:02:00.000-07:00

Well, approximately 8 days ago, some of my homeslices and I celebrated my b-day. It was a pretty fantastic event. We started by doing some hiking on the Oregon Trail. Naturally we took a lot of bets about who would die of dysentary, and who would be struck with typhoid fever. Ashlee clued us in that you should pick the people in your party based on marriage eligibility. Steve shared that the best strategy for survival is to buy nothing but ammo. He assured us that his party, consisting only of members whose names rhyme, always had enough to eat. Unfortunately, we were never able to make a conclusive decision of who would be eaten first, Donner style. After tossing around a football, observing history, making some pretty bad attempts at pronouncing French phrases involved in said history, and one of us lost (really badly) in a running race, we headed to dinner to meet up with some more peeps. After that, off for some ice cream, and then for the pièce de résistance - the oatmeal fight.

Before leaving for the evening, we filled a pool Ashlee found on craigslist with water and oatmeal. It was too watery, so on the way home, we bought 5 more containers. At the cash register, the lady looked at a group of girls and the group of oatmeal containers and said, "Aww, are you making oatmeal cookies tonight?" *Insert long awkward pause* I piped up boldly, "Actually, no, we're, um, having an oatmeal fight." *Blank stare* "Uh. Okay!" I'll just say that the fight was one of the oddest things I've ever participated in, but good times nonetheless!

The gems of the cyber world

2009-08-30T15:07:00.000-07:00

Well, now that I'm not living with the parentals, I've found myself looking for some furniture. I mean, sitting on an upturned laundry basket (yes, Anne, I know it's yours) and typing on my computer which sits on an upturned laundry hamper is niiiiice, I am still looking for some furniture.

Thus, I am wading through the glory that is craigslist.com. Some people who are native English speakers might be confused when they run across words that sound vaguely familiar but need the pictures to translate. Here are some examples:

Dallor - base currency of the USA. Usually spelled "dollar"
Dinning - referring to the act of eating, not the act of making a lot of noise. Usually spelled "dining."

I also ran across some interesting items. Such as an 80 oz Vlasic Pickle Jar (free).
"Nothing special here. Just a large glass jar. Modern - as in purchased full of pickles in the last month. Good for, well, pickles and maybe pickled eggs." Well alright.

And under the heading of DO NOT MISS THIS

Wolf dishes, anyone?

Galactic Greetings!

2009-08-23T21:04:00.000-07:00

That was the title of the email I got with my sweet action Buzz Lightyear picture in it. I will post that here. Anyway, a whirlwind of activity the past few weeks. The highlights:

-Anne, Kyla, LeeAnne, Ashlee, and I all hopped in Sizzle's car and drove a squillion hours down to Anaheim to the Comfort Inn, which Anne came to refer to as, "The Shadiest Place on Earth." Because, although it has a close proximity to "The Happiest Place on Earth," we still learned about call girls, sketchy people, and police reinforcement from another boarder. Sweet.
-We met up with Jackie, John, and Syd and headed (sans John) to Disneyland and California Adventure for three days. It was a total blast minus a few minor events, one which will be mentioned next. I really liked it, but I kind of felt that my eyeballs were injected with a nervous, colorful electricity and wondered what the difference between Disneyland Day 3 and LSD is.
-The person currently masquerading as Snow White (and also the little-known fairy character--Fawn) is not a nice person. As Snow White, she shut Anne down when Anne requested that she act scared as we held up our apple slices. After acting like a 3-brain-celled ditz for a while, she told Anne, "Why don't YOU do that, while the rest of us pose like pretty princesses?" Vomit.
-Adrienne rescued me and it was good to see her.
-Then we drove up to Syd's shack in Modesto and spent a ridiculous day by the pool. Spoiled? Yes I was.
-Then we drove home.
-I'm pretty sure I got a job at a boys ranch. I had an interview Friday and they left a voicemail asking if I could start on Monday, but didn't tell me what time. Thus far, my efforts to track them down have been fruitless. I'm probably just calling the wrong number. Anyway, it involves working outside, with kids, dogs, horses, etc. And I get to wear jeans and t-shirts and tennis shoes. Bwhahaahahha. I'm pumped.

you betcha

2009-08-10T15:42:00.000-07:00

As many of you are aware, I have been working for my dad at his automotive shop. I am the front desk receptionist. My main duties include: invoices, quickbooks, smiling big and directing customers to someone else. Also staring out the window when there's not a whole lot going on. Now, you must understand that my dad comes from a line of "good ol' boys" and talks the talk well. When he and ky and syd's dad get together, it's like visiting a convention in another language. I'm trying to think of how to describe that language. It's got a twang, a bit of southern, a bit of hick. And there are several phrases unique to this language. I recently discovered that not only do I generally understand goodolboy, but I unintentionally speak it. Here are some phrases that recently came flying out of my mouth. (I will include pronunciation)

"Bin doin' a lotta fishin' lately?"
"Yep, yep, jus git 'er dun."
"Thank yew." (You know how people with accents say it.)

It's been a kind of horrifying process, but I don't mind it too badly. Just be forewarned.

Upcoming news - I will be bebopping down to California with some of the coolest people on earth to see some more of the coolest people on earth. I will also probably throw up at Disneyland, but I'm pretty excited to scream my lungs out. This basically happens on all the rides. There's this sweet picture somewhere of me and Kyla on a rollercoaster. She is smiling relaxedly. I, on the other hand, look like I am giving birth to a demon-possessed rhinocerous (large and terrifying). I don't expect that anything will have changed between now and then.

When I come back, remind me to blog about hearing loss and why I could get a hearing aid.

New Kid in Town

2009-08-05T13:31:00.001-07:00

Now, I don't usually give shout-outs to websites, but I recently stumbled on this one and it might have changed my life a little bit. Seriously go check it out:

www.dontjudgemyhair.com

Great news recently, all three co-presidents have located rollerblades via craigslist and will be picking them up tonight. A fourth pair has been located for another co-president who does not actually know how to rollerblade but will soon learn, I'm sure. Tonight, weather permitting, the first meeting of the co-presidents of the rollerblading club will convene, with honorary dog-walker, Anne. We should get some good pictures out of this.

Slideshow

2009-08-03T21:41:00.001-07:00

Ashlee's b-day (you'll notice the hidden recorder. Did I play it at On the Border? Yes I did. Was I off key? Yes I was? Was the tune kind of unrecognizable? Yes it was? Did it rule all school? Yes it did.)

The drive-in.

2009-08-03T21:12:00.000-07:00

Well, in my grandmother's words, "Spicy!" Yep, life has been a little spicy as of late. Little events here and there. For example, I recently purchased a pair of rollerblades from craigslist for one dollar. That's right, go back and read it again because I definitely meant to type "one dollar." I bought them on Saturday and have had a tragically long wait. On Saturday night we went to the drive-in to see The Proposal and Transformers 2. I liked The Proposal, but 2.5 hours of big pieces of metal blowing up other big pieces of metal wasn't really my thing. Then on Sunday I hung out with a friend who was in town for only a bit and we saw Away We Go at the Flicks. I recommend it. :D Funny movie. And I had my first scone experience at Merritt's. Quality times, all of it.

Thus, today, was supposed to be the virgin voyage of my rollerblades. And then this

happened. I call it "Tropical, Yet Landlocked Tsunami of Dirt". Unfortunately my skills as a rollerblader are pretty slim. There I was, moving down the sidewalk at about 65 miles an hour by no effort of my own (the wind was really just that strong) and thinking to myself about how I never DID master the whole stopping thing, even at my middle school Rollerdrome I-read-all-those-damn-AR-books-so-get-me-out-of-this-school skating parties. I was not surprised when the gulf winds then launched me onto the grass. You may ask why I had been heading this direction in the first place. A novice rollerblader, no matter how stylish he or she may look with the wristguards he or she purchased for 75 cents at a large yardsale, should be aware of earth conditions such as Tropical, Yet Landlocked Tsunami Gale Forces. Well, the answer is simple. I was following a pink kite. It went zooming past, and, not being one to pass up a good deal, I followed it, hoping to add a pink kite to my list of recent bargain steals. After being launched onto the grass, I looked up and studied the kite, which was across several sidewalks of varying height levels with no parking signs (aka, brake stops) in sight. I then noticed that the kite was actually a severely dismembered umbrella and not likely to do me any good. So, I attempted to head back to my vehicle, despite monstrous winds blowing in my face.

But the drama continues. A white station wagon pulled into the deserted parking lot. I decided since I had 18 kilograms of sand in my eyes anyway, I should probably leave, especially since the station wagon was coming directly towards me. They pulled up beside me and asked if I had seen....a pink TENT. YES! The kite was not actually a dismembered umbrella at all, but rather a child's tent, probably featuring a barbie or princess. This explained any previous doubts I had held about the proper shape of an umbrella.

In final news, Kelsi and I and possibly Kyla have started a rollerblading club. If you would like to join, we are offering co-presidency to any new members who join before February 13th.

Hogmail

2009-07-23T10:36:00.000-07:00

For some reason, when I use this keyboard, I type "hogmail" more often than I type "hotmail." Which brings up the question, Is there a hogmail.com? No. But the domain is up for sale if you want it.

In recent news, I bebopped on up to Portland/Salem for a few days with the madre and the sis for my cousin's wedding reception and family reunion. Good times. Amanda was gorgeous and the hubby seems like a winner. I was reminded of my painful lack of small talk skills, but still managed to enjoy myself. Since our last reunion was in the 90's, there was some catching up to do. Like when my cousin, Chris, was chatting with my sister, who actually looks like my dad's side of the family (I don't), and he said, "So? How's your sister?" And Anne said, "Well, I don't know, but you could ask her" and turned to me. And my grandma has really taken to the word, "Spicy!" and uttered it in response to any questions about her food or drink, but especially in connection with alcoholic beverages.

We also played a wild game of tag which involved removing parts of my leg on a tree and some wild jungle-style yelling.

This could be my last blog, however, on account of, well, I might not survive this weekend. I'm going on my first backpacking trip and it sounds a little wild. Words like "all uphill" and "10 miles" and such were getting thrown around. So we'll see what happens. I'm excited nonetheless.

Theme music plays

2009-07-12T08:34:00.000-07:00

I'm back in the States! It was a bit of a wild ride home, but I'm finally here. We landed in NY on the 7th after a 4 hour delay involving a lot of circling and sitting in some place called Bradley, CT. But this was really a great opportunity for me to develop my Tetris skills with the in-flight video games option. They a couple days in New Haven, CT to visit a friend and learn about the fast-paced, action-packed dice game called Farkle. We then headed back to NY only to realize we had stored our luggage at JFK but were flying out of LaGuardia. Maybe I said a lot of bad words. I can't remember.

Thus, we missed our flight, actually, we missed gate closing by about 15 minutes and had to stay in NY another night. But we luuuuuuucked out the next day when we flew standby all the way home the next day. Plus, I got to meet this sweet kid who was very interested in comparing the extendable handle of my carry-on with his mother's. I think he found hers more impressive because it had 8 sections whereas mine only had 4. Or 4 and 2, depending on if he was counting with two hands or one. Either way, he conducted several studies.

So, I've just been back in the valley, relaxing and washing clothes, etc. I cancelled my trip to Portland because I'm quite out of money. Partially due to the fact that Verizon took it all in order to set me up as a "new user". At any rate, it should arrive by mail Tuesday-ish and I'll let you know when I have a new phone number. Woot!

Oops

2009-07-04T11:40:00.000-07:00

So here's the deal. I've been really bad at blogging. Here are some horrifically brief updates:

Anne, my mom, and Kyla came to visit. It rocked my world. We bebopped around Madrid and also went to the beach which was kind of ghetto but still really fun.

I finished all my classes. I am currently wearing one of the bracelets my student made me :D

Astin and I went to Italy. It was rad and I saw a lot of famous-style stuff. Like the Colosseum. We also got stuck in Florence for a night and had to sleep on the train station sidewalk after we were kicked out of McDonald's by a man who thought his job was bouncer of McDonald's.

I'm flying to NY on Tuesday! And to Idaho on Thursday! And I will eat a waffle on Friday!

P.S. All you Portland peeps...I'll be in Portland-ish area from the 13th to the 17th. Without a car. Anyone want to come pick me up and visit?

I'm a celebrity

2009-05-24T09:50:00.000-07:00

Well, well, well. It’s been a wee bit since I’ve written because last weekend Cassie came to visit. We had a grand ole time. On Friday, Liz, Astin, and I headed to the airport to pick her up with signs that said, “Hookers International Welcomes Cassie Lara!” Of course we drew hooks all over the signs so there would be no confusion of the purity of our group.

We came home and made breakfast together and then Cassie and I walked around Madrid for a while. In the evening, since it was the festival for the patron saint of Madrid, San Isidro, we went to this humongous outdoor concert with our Spanish friend and some of her friends. But really, we were just in the same park and couldn’t hear the music.

On Saturday the highlight was definitely a performance of Carmen. The director/producer/choreographer/set designer/costume designer/lighting designer is also the protagonist. She rewrote the story so that it was more of a flamenco performance than an opera and it was FANTASTIC. Here’s a sample:
We also almost had a showdown with some old ladies who tried to take our seats.

Sunday, we went to a town outside of Madrid called Ávila. You may have heard of the mystic, Teresa of Ávila. Yep, her old stomping grounds. The city’s surrounded by this massive wall that we climbed all over and I also stuck my leg out of. None of the other tourists did that. We visited some cathedrals and museums and we also found the finger of Teresa. Yup, they definitely have her finger on display along with her sandals, rosary, and a few other things. During the course of the day, Cassie dropped her ice cream cone and was also shat upon by a bird for the first time in her life.

Then a normal weekend of classes. But last night, I became a celebrity. Yes. Celebrity. I, along with Astin and some others, was nominated as teacher of the year in my company. Everyone at the pub where we celebrated thought the whole ceremony was kind of hilarious, but our bosses took it rather seriously. Although I only garnered a bronze trophy, I still count myself on the same celebrity level as Audrey Hepburn. On the way home, it started raining and I stuck my trophy/cup out into the rain to rinse out the champagne and some guy tried to take it. I was too fast for him, though.

If anyone wants an autograph, just let me know.

Susie B. and the 6 Giants

2009-05-10T06:41:00.000-07:00

So this guy I work with has been planning hikes lately and I decided to join. I showed up at the bus station and said hi to the 3 guys already there waiting. I soon learned that no other females were coming and I would be spending the whole day with 6 guys who promptly nicknamed me Susie B. in reference to facebook profile. Let’s just say the estrogen cloud I was living in was blown away by a huge gust of testosterone. Really, we had a good time and it was great to get out of the city and see the mountains. We scrambled up rocks, left pieces of our flesh on various pokey plants, and I know that I, for one, transported roughly half the forest home in my socks.

A Wild Journey to Barcelona

2009-05-10T06:39:00.000-07:00

So here’s how it rolled out. Astin’s friends Traci and Kelsey stayed with us for 2 days before we left for Barca. And it a hilariously surprising turn of events, Liz, a teammate of Astin’s and a fellow council member of mine choose the same TEFL company as us. We had a full house with all five of us and lots of hectic last minute planning. After landing in Madrid, Liz (million props) decided to join us in Barca so we bought five overnight bus tickets, booked a hostel room for Liz and headed out.

After listening to some kind of stupid people refuse to shut up for most of the bus ride, we rolled into Barca at 8:30 am and found our hostel. We then went searching for breakfast and then busted out the map from the hostel and the guide book my student loaned me. After a while of planning, we set out for…nowhere. Really we were looking for some tourist discount card and never found it. This was pretty hard work so we decided to break for lunch. If the slideshow works, you’ll notice the “paella mixta” or “entire sea creatures surprise” that everyone else ate. I ate spaghetti and chicken…thank you seafood allergies!

Then we went to La Sagrada Familia (Sacred Family), a partially finished cathedral designed by Gaudí, who is now my favorite architect/artist. Seriously, google him. He’s really the first artist that makes me want to see more and more of his work. After that, we went to see two more of his works—Casa Batlló and Casa Milá.

Day 2 – We went on a “Free Walking Tour” which really means that they advertise it as free and then ask for money. But it was a really great, informed tour and I learned a lot…about Picasso, George Orwell, Evanescence, Gaudí, etc. We also went to the Guell palace (Guell commissioned a lot of Gaudí’s work), Parc de la Ciutadella (which had a huge mammoth statue), saw the Arc de Triomf. Did you know that Eiffel offered Barcelona the Eiffel tower for their expo but Barca wanted to keep their architecture classic and made the Arc de Triomf instead. So the next year, Paris got the tower. We ended the day with a trip to Parc Guell which was also designed by Gaudí. It was like something out of a funky fairy tale.

Day 3—We hadn’t seen enough of the park yesterday, so we went back for some more exploring. After lunch, we headed to the beach. It wasn’t warm enough to swim, so we just “took the sun” as they say and it was incredibly relaxing. Except that I kept getting a lot of sand stuck to myself. Happily, I was the only one who did not torch some part of my body. Everyone else was partially converted to members of the lobster family. Basically, Barcelona was a blast. Good people, good food, and good laughs.

Adios, buttface!

2009-04-26T09:31:00.000-07:00

Well, here is what I have to report. Astin came back safely to Spain and I picked her up from the airport several times...only once successfully. All the other times were failures on account of flight changes, lost luggage, etc. But everything is good to go now. The greatest part being, of course, that now I have someone to play Frisbee with. Spaniards generally feel that Frisbee should be reserved for dogs and the beach.

To answer your question about the hilarious title, well, that is a direct quote (as far as I understand) from my 6-year old. I arrived to their house and buzzed to be let in. Their mom always answers, but this time the 6 year old got ahold of the system and asked who I was and I told her. She then decided it was important to find out...right then, whose turn it was to go first. I let her know and we continued to chat over the buzzer system. Eventually she decided to let me in. I go up to find her face red and puffy from crying and knew that was a bad bad sign. Then their mother cheerfully explained that she and her 8 year old sister had been fighting over a picture and that they were "a little angry." Yippee. I started class with the 8-year old who was protectively clutching a picture for the beginning of the lesson while yelling stuff to her sister like, “And no you can’t even LOOK at it” before we started. We had a few attitude problems, but nothing the eyebrow/yellow card combo couldn’t solve. All of a sudden the door flies open and the tiny 6 year old shrills – “Adios, BUTTFACE!” and slams the door shut. Buttface is a loose translation from the Spanish. Anyway, I found it to be pretty hilarious because she didn’t GO anywhere. She just needed some power, I suppose, and felt that “adios buttface” was the best way. She had her lesson later and at the end when we went over the behavior chart, we agreed that “Adios, BUTTFACE” hadn’t been the greatest idea and probably wouldn’t be necessary next time. I didn’t tell her that I thought the whole thing was hilarious and continue to use the phrase (I don’t really think Astin is amused.)

Next week, tragically, there will be no blog. I will be “taking the sun,” as they say, in Barcelona. A couple of Astin’s friends and the two of us will either fly or bus over there on Friday. Furthermore, my computer is being shifty again and so if you stop hearing from me for a long time, it’s due to some sort of crash. Well, keep it real on the streets.

2009-04-18T09:43:00.001-07:00

Well, bad news. I forgot the procession pictures again. Oops. Maybe next week. Maybe never. So this week Astin was in the States for a wedding, so I decided to become a wandering vagabond and walk around a lot. I tried some new spanish foods...membrillo (quince) and palmeras de chocolate (kind of like pie crust with chocolate on top). Both pretty good.

In student news:
-One student has announced that he likes to "rike a bike" and he was very cute about it.
-My ridiculous six year old gave me some empty sticker packets (mind you, they still had the borders, just not the actual picture stickers) she told me that they were "for my collection." I suspect she did this to ward off my increasinly-ominous glares that were directed her way for messing up our game. If anyone collects empty sticker packets, please let me know and I will send you some materials directly.
-Another student decided that, hey, why SAY grammar explanations when you can SING them. Her brother and I promptly started calling her Mary Poppins.

I also added "Good King Wenceslas" to my Sweet Flute repertoire. Other than that, not much to report. Below is a photo from the good ol' days. Take it back old school.

Semana Santa

2009-04-11T11:35:00.001-07:00

There was no blog last week for a few reasons.

1) life wasn't too exciting
2) I was severely impeded on my way to blog.
a) the bus was incredibly delayed and it was really windy while I was waiting for the bus, so I was continually pelted with thousands of those little round tree seed pod things. When the bus came, it was really crowded, so the bus driver didn't notice me until he shut me in the door. A female leaping around frantically kind of attracts attention.
b) when I arrived at the coffee shop much later with lots of woodland particles nestled in my hair, they told me they couldn't change my 10 Euro bill. They literally didn't have enough change. So I went to another coffee shop, bought a yogurt, and then returned to my regular coffee shop. This all took an enormous amount of time.

Anyway. This week was Semana Santa and basically the whole country takes at least a 4-day vacation. I took a fabulous trip to nowhere on account of an upcoming trip to Barcelona that I'm saving up for. I did go to a procession though. They're wild. Basically different churches put their saint on a throne-thing and dress up in eerie Ku Klux Klan looking outfits and parade around various cities. It's pretty cool. I'll post pictures next week.

Kimberlea comes to visit

2009-03-29T08:59:00.000-07:00

Here is a schedule of events that transpired while Kimberlea was here:

Tuesday/Wednesday: recovering from time zone change
Thursday: 9 am, leave for Valencia. 4 hours later de-bus. Wander around Valencia looking at the different Fallas.* Watch a parade in which billions of sparks are flying everywhere, landing on people, most of whom leave unharmed. Unfortunately, a few hairs and particles of flesh are burned off Kimberlea's head. After this, continue wandering around looking at Fallas and for a place to eat. After dinner watch the burning/fireworks explosion of the main children's falla. Stay in very squished quarters with thousands/maybe hundreds of other people for a few more hours to watch the burning of the main falla. Basically I have never seen so much fire in my life. Return home at 3 am.
Friday: Try to figure out what happened to ourselves. I attempt to teach a class to my 6 and 8 year old. The 6 year old tells my my zip-up sweatshirt is tacky. Then we went to a place nearby called Don Pimpón.
Saturday: authentic Spanish grocery shopping experience. Wandering around Madrid. Visiting a museum. Went to a jazz bar where we watched these really snotty ladies who couldn't clap (no matter how many drinks they ordered) sneer at people around them.
Sunday: visiting the open-air market for souvenirs, chocolate and churros, a hurge park, the cow parade.
Monday: Kimberlea went weapon shopping.
Tuesday: Coffee and watching the royal horses get baths.

All in all it was a a grand time. :D

*For information about what a falla is, check here:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Las_Fallas

Do it.

2009-03-22T09:50:00.000-07:00

In lieu of a regular post, I will direct you to the following link:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tBJPTyyX8Cs

The Swindling Canoeist and Other Criminal Acts

2009-03-14T10:05:00.000-07:00

Recently I’ve been reading an article about a skip-tracer with some of my business students. Basically, it’s about this guy who tracks down people who try to skip out of town and leave debts behind, etc. There’s one part about a guy who committed life insurance fraud in a death he faked in a canoe. The line which caused much consternation among my students was,

“…much in the news since swindling canoeist John Darwin and his wife Anne were jailed last year…”

We had to break each word down and discuss it for a long time. Finally one student threw up her hands and moaned, explaining to me in Spanish her understanding of the article—a man in a canoe, rowing around, cheating people out of their hard-earned money. We had a good laugh once it was straightened out.

Moving along. Since I essentially grew up in a house, I’m not familiar with the ups and downs of apartment life. Overall, I like the connected sense. Hearing snatches of other people’s music, knowing when someone is putting in a new cupboard, etc. I especially like the baby and his grandma who tickles him so hard that he bounces her name when he’s trying to get it out. However, there is one thing I do not like. And that is the lifestyle of my neighbors on the other side of my headboard. I used to have neighbors who loved each other very much. Several times a week, they loved each other very much. Such things can be ignored with a little help from music in the headphones. However, they must have moved because that room is now the entertainment room for a family who does NOT love each other so much. In fact, they fight a lot and watch TV till very late. Even with all this considered, it wasn’t until they downloaded Instant Messenger that I got truly annoyed. Bee-dee-doop. Bee-dee-doop. *Low, vicious grumbling from my side of the wall*

I take comfort in the fact that I have taken revenge on basically any past or potential enemies in my apartment building with one simple purchase. I’ve been wanting to do it for a long time, and finally I got so jealous of one of my students that I just went out and bought one. I am now the proud owner of a Hohner Recorder. Bam. You may look for an album titled, “The Musical Stylings of Kate” on iTunes any day now. Later, when I want to appeal to a wider, more hip-hop style audience, I will produce an album called, “The Musical Stylings of K-Dub.” First, I have to figure out how to stay in the same octave for the whole song. I have already taught myself at least four, maybe 5 songs. Parents, you can look forward to such musical gems as, “Mary Had a Little Lamb” and “Ode to Joy” when I’m living at home looking for a job.

In final news, just in time for Kimberlea’s arrival, I have contracted a head cold. I’d like to know which of my students to blame, but they’ve all been sick within the past month, so I just don’t know. I plan to take it easy so that I will be ready for our big shindig in Valencia. Google “Las Fallas”…it’s pretty good. And, lucky for me, I have the nicest roommate in the world who supports me in my whiny, snot-ridden state and doesn’t mind if I use roughly 50% of our toilet paper supply to empty my nose.

How to Be a Warrior and Other Valuable Skills

2009-03-08T12:25:00.000-07:00

Recently, I discovered a vicious den of wickedness and pollution. The horrifying thing was that the said den was located...

on my blinds.

Yes. Between several of the lower slats in my oh-so-quality-roll-up-blinds, I found several colonies of wicked mold growing and polluting my life. I highly doubt that it was of the life-saving penicilling type. Therefore, I attacked it the way Astin has been quoted attacking dishes, "quickly. ruthlessly." Not to worry. The colonies have been subdued and a lot more fresh air has been circulating our house as preventative measure.

On Friday, we went for drinks with our landlord. It was kind of a weird shift for me, because I'm used to hating my landlord. But Astin says this is just because I've had bad ones. I am not so sure. At that time, I tried escargot, or snails, for the first time. It honestly wasn't bad. But since I wasn't sure if they fell in the same category as sea food, I didn't eat much.

In final news, I am suffering from a slight flesh wound. Recently, while trying to use a large knife as a weenie roaster, there was a collision between my index finger and the molten blade. No surgery was necessary, and I survive to this day. I do not suggest this method, but it was the only one available at the time that did not dirty up more dishes.
The End.

Uh?

2009-02-28T11:42:00.001-08:00

This has been a really uneventful week and the only item of note was this:

I was walking down the street with Astin on the way to play frisbee. We walk past this guy who fakes like he's going to hit me in the face with his folder. I felt the wind whoosh past me. I was completely dumbfounded and had no idea how to react. Who does that? Finally, it occurred to me that it might be Graham, so I turned around to double check, but no. The guy was still walking up the hill but looking back over his shoulder to see my reaction. I think what he thought was one part total surprise and one part disgust. Weirdest thing.