From now on, you may refer to me by my new name, given to me by a student at work this evening:
Mrs. Fuck.
Monday, June 14, 2010
Sunday, May 16, 2010
And I think to myself...
Aside from being pretty miserable with a head cold/whining about being miserable with a head cold, this was a pretty great weekend. Let's just review some of the highlights, shall we?
-Anne, Kelsi, and I revealed to Sydney, Kyla, and Steve, that the cake they received earlier this week from their "block captains" was actually not from their "block captains." They had rightfully been shocked that anyone could think the "Trail Mix Cake," as it was called, was good enough to share with neighbors. The cake had, in fact, been constructed by us after we cleaned out our pantry. Main ingredients were: Slim-Fast, instant mashed potatoes, and mint hot chocolate mix. We also included dried-out marshmallows, actual trail mix, pancake mix, and broccoli soup. We threw in an egg and some oil, made an official "block captain" letterhead, and dropped it off at Kyla's house. Bwah. ha. ha.
-We had a graduation party for Kelsi. Fun times gathering people together to celebrate. I also became so mesmerized by the membership sign at Costco that I rammed into the guy ahead of me with the party cake. Luckily no damage was done.
-Carly and Ty got married. Lovely wedding that they totally made fit them. Not vomitous at all. It just seemed fitting to watch my childhood friend who used to shove grass in my braces marrying my childhood neighbor who used to play elaborate police-style games with me and our sisters.
-And I have amazing roommates. This is for real.
...what a wonderful world
-Anne, Kelsi, and I revealed to Sydney, Kyla, and Steve, that the cake they received earlier this week from their "block captains" was actually not from their "block captains." They had rightfully been shocked that anyone could think the "Trail Mix Cake," as it was called, was good enough to share with neighbors. The cake had, in fact, been constructed by us after we cleaned out our pantry. Main ingredients were: Slim-Fast, instant mashed potatoes, and mint hot chocolate mix. We also included dried-out marshmallows, actual trail mix, pancake mix, and broccoli soup. We threw in an egg and some oil, made an official "block captain" letterhead, and dropped it off at Kyla's house. Bwah. ha. ha.
-We had a graduation party for Kelsi. Fun times gathering people together to celebrate. I also became so mesmerized by the membership sign at Costco that I rammed into the guy ahead of me with the party cake. Luckily no damage was done.
-Carly and Ty got married. Lovely wedding that they totally made fit them. Not vomitous at all. It just seemed fitting to watch my childhood friend who used to shove grass in my braces marrying my childhood neighbor who used to play elaborate police-style games with me and our sisters.
-And I have amazing roommates. This is for real.
...what a wonderful world
Tuesday, May 11, 2010
Momentous Event in History
Today was a pretty fantastic day and here is why.
I AM THE GRAND PRIZE WINNER AT THE GYM.
You should know that I have never been the grand prize winner of anything and I was expecting to win a pencil. So, obviously I was ecstatic, as was Emely since we were in it to win it together from the start. And now we will be enjoying dinner out, massages, and a night at a hotel via grand prize.
Then. Lunch with the ever-hilarious Ashlee who allowed me to interrupt our lunch with phone calls/high pitched squealing to people about my grand prize
Then. My boys just made my heart so happy at work. I was "the only staff who is not an idiot" to the 10-year-old. And then I took a group off campus to do a clean-up and they did so amazingly well. One of those rare times when everyone in the group is looking out for the welfare of everyone else and willing to make compromises. I could care less if they all grow up to be brilliant scholars or "successful" billionaires. If they can treat each other with the dignity and respect they did tonight, well, my job is done.
I AM THE GRAND PRIZE WINNER AT THE GYM.
You should know that I have never been the grand prize winner of anything and I was expecting to win a pencil. So, obviously I was ecstatic, as was Emely since we were in it to win it together from the start. And now we will be enjoying dinner out, massages, and a night at a hotel via grand prize.
Then. Lunch with the ever-hilarious Ashlee who allowed me to interrupt our lunch with phone calls/high pitched squealing to people about my grand prize
Then. My boys just made my heart so happy at work. I was "the only staff who is not an idiot" to the 10-year-old. And then I took a group off campus to do a clean-up and they did so amazingly well. One of those rare times when everyone in the group is looking out for the welfare of everyone else and willing to make compromises. I could care less if they all grow up to be brilliant scholars or "successful" billionaires. If they can treat each other with the dignity and respect they did tonight, well, my job is done.
Friday, April 30, 2010
Hulk-in-training
So I think that blogs where people go on about how awesome they are generally come across to the rest of the world as extremely annoying. This does not, however, stop me from spouting off something I am proud of. You will need a microscope for this next part.
With the help of your microscope, you may notice small muscles beginning to form. This is actually a live photo taken of my arm. Believe it if you dare, but it is actually slightly more pronounced in real life. This is because, for the past 6 weeks, my roommate and I have been doing a fitness challenge at our gym that involved doing some sort of activity/healthy habit about 7 days a week. As was the goal, I had to branch out and try new things. Thus, I learned that the weight-lifting class that looks so scary is actually not scary at all. Water fitness classes are entirely survivable and senior citizens provide a good dose of humility while they kick my trash. I also learned that senior citizens are very chatty and sometimes they only kick my butt because they are not actually doing anything. Being a recovering perfectionist means that the bar is usually too high for me to really be proud of myself, but I was proud of this one!
With the help of your microscope, you may notice small muscles beginning to form. This is actually a live photo taken of my arm. Believe it if you dare, but it is actually slightly more pronounced in real life. This is because, for the past 6 weeks, my roommate and I have been doing a fitness challenge at our gym that involved doing some sort of activity/healthy habit about 7 days a week. As was the goal, I had to branch out and try new things. Thus, I learned that the weight-lifting class that looks so scary is actually not scary at all. Water fitness classes are entirely survivable and senior citizens provide a good dose of humility while they kick my trash. I also learned that senior citizens are very chatty and sometimes they only kick my butt because they are not actually doing anything. Being a recovering perfectionist means that the bar is usually too high for me to really be proud of myself, but I was proud of this one!
Thursday, April 29, 2010
Monday, April 12, 2010
Evening Shit Summary
Title taken from a work document typo tonight. Best typo yet.
Well, life actually hasn't been shitty at all lately. Highlights:
1) Emely and I continue to blaze through out Bingo challenge at the gym.
2) As a result of the above, I have been forced to learn Kettlebell and water aerobics. I've been taking H20 Fit, or as I like to call it, Seniors Being 1000 Times Better Than Me at Aquatic Activities. The first time Emely and I went, it was 6 in the morning after a night of little sleep for both of us. Naturally, we became much more interested in doing the YMCA with the music than swimming, so the entire class was pretty confused by us. Today, I got my ass kicked by a bunch of 70 year olds.
3) On Saturday, Ria and her cousin picked me up and we went on the longest one-day road trip I've been on. Stopped in Pocatello to eat Mexican food with Allyson. Bad idea. Let's just say that different windows were intermittently rolled down for the rest of the trip. Then in Logan to see Amanda, where we all learned the difference between temples, tabernacles, churches, stakes, and wards. And also that the citizens of Logan have little to no landscaping inclinations and have placed enormous boulders on their lawns in order to compensate for lack of grass. This is just a picture that I got off the internet, but one house even bouldered up onto the hill behind it. We knew by that mark that they were the richest in the subdivision. Then to Park City to pick up Todd and have dinner with Greg. Wild.
Well, life actually hasn't been shitty at all lately. Highlights:
1) Emely and I continue to blaze through out Bingo challenge at the gym.
2) As a result of the above, I have been forced to learn Kettlebell and water aerobics. I've been taking H20 Fit, or as I like to call it, Seniors Being 1000 Times Better Than Me at Aquatic Activities. The first time Emely and I went, it was 6 in the morning after a night of little sleep for both of us. Naturally, we became much more interested in doing the YMCA with the music than swimming, so the entire class was pretty confused by us. Today, I got my ass kicked by a bunch of 70 year olds.
3) On Saturday, Ria and her cousin picked me up and we went on the longest one-day road trip I've been on. Stopped in Pocatello to eat Mexican food with Allyson. Bad idea. Let's just say that different windows were intermittently rolled down for the rest of the trip. Then in Logan to see Amanda, where we all learned the difference between temples, tabernacles, churches, stakes, and wards. And also that the citizens of Logan have little to no landscaping inclinations and have placed enormous boulders on their lawns in order to compensate for lack of grass. This is just a picture that I got off the internet, but one house even bouldered up onto the hill behind it. We knew by that mark that they were the richest in the subdivision. Then to Park City to pick up Todd and have dinner with Greg. Wild.
Saturday, March 20, 2010
POST 100! Pickle Patrol.
I've been waiting for a great event to come along that would be 100th-post-worthy. And let me tell you, I found it.
As many of you know, I am extremely fond of order in the household. Not that everything has to BE in order, but it should HAVE an order just in case I wanted to put it there. Which is why the enormous jar of pickles in our garage was a problem for me. You see, no one knows where it came from or why it's been in our garage so long. And I had no place to put it when I went on my garage cleaning rampage a few months ago. I've been jonesing to get it out of here and tonight, Emely and I hatched a plan.
While the rest of our roommates were at the Jason Alpenis concert, we loaded up the jar of pickles in the trusty backpack I've had since high school.
Emely brought her backpack, which she also has had since high school, "just in case we find anything while we're out."
We then composed this note:
After that, we rode around our neighborhood on our bicycles until we found a very proper-looking one-story house with a nice looking lawn and daffodils. And we left it in their driveway.
Unfortunately, before departing, the pickle jar tipped over and leaked all over my backpack, causing me to smell faintly of vinegar the entire voyage. This happened twice.
Since we still had daylight left, we rode to a path that Emely knew of with some ancient runes spray painted on it. We stopped to chat with some horses when Em decided to get rid of some excess spit she had in her mouth. Her technique is really pretty incomprehensible and can best be described as a sort of wind up and pitch action. Unfortunately, during the second launching, she wasn't really paying attention to the direction of the wind and spat directly into my face. That was neat. Emely was unable to stand due to laughing so hard about the spit on my face.
We then decided to cross a bridge across the canal. Here, Emely is featured "moving up in the world" from the sloth butt scoot she performed going the other way. All in all, a fantastic ride.
As many of you know, I am extremely fond of order in the household. Not that everything has to BE in order, but it should HAVE an order just in case I wanted to put it there. Which is why the enormous jar of pickles in our garage was a problem for me. You see, no one knows where it came from or why it's been in our garage so long. And I had no place to put it when I went on my garage cleaning rampage a few months ago. I've been jonesing to get it out of here and tonight, Emely and I hatched a plan.
While the rest of our roommates were at the Jason Alpenis concert, we loaded up the jar of pickles in the trusty backpack I've had since high school.
Emely brought her backpack, which she also has had since high school, "just in case we find anything while we're out."
We then composed this note:
After that, we rode around our neighborhood on our bicycles until we found a very proper-looking one-story house with a nice looking lawn and daffodils. And we left it in their driveway.
Unfortunately, before departing, the pickle jar tipped over and leaked all over my backpack, causing me to smell faintly of vinegar the entire voyage. This happened twice.
Since we still had daylight left, we rode to a path that Emely knew of with some ancient runes spray painted on it. We stopped to chat with some horses when Em decided to get rid of some excess spit she had in her mouth. Her technique is really pretty incomprehensible and can best be described as a sort of wind up and pitch action. Unfortunately, during the second launching, she wasn't really paying attention to the direction of the wind and spat directly into my face. That was neat. Emely was unable to stand due to laughing so hard about the spit on my face.
We then decided to cross a bridge across the canal. Here, Emely is featured "moving up in the world" from the sloth butt scoot she performed going the other way. All in all, a fantastic ride.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
