Adios, buttface!

Well, here is what I have to report. Astin came back safely to Spain and I picked her up from the airport several times...only once successfully. All the other times were failures on account of flight changes, lost luggage, etc. But everything is good to go now. The greatest part being, of course, that now I have someone to play Frisbee with. Spaniards generally feel that Frisbee should be reserved for dogs and the beach.

To answer your question about the hilarious title, well, that is a direct quote (as far as I understand) from my 6-year old. I arrived to their house and buzzed to be let in. Their mom always answers, but this time the 6 year old got ahold of the system and asked who I was and I told her. She then decided it was important to find out...right then, whose turn it was to go first. I let her know and we continued to chat over the buzzer system. Eventually she decided to let me in. I go up to find her face red and puffy from crying and knew that was a bad bad sign. Then their mother cheerfully explained that she and her 8 year old sister had been fighting over a picture and that they were "a little angry." Yippee. I started class with the 8-year old who was protectively clutching a picture for the beginning of the lesson while yelling stuff to her sister like, “And no you can’t even LOOK at it” before we started. We had a few attitude problems, but nothing the eyebrow/yellow card combo couldn’t solve. All of a sudden the door flies open and the tiny 6 year old shrills – “Adios, BUTTFACE!” and slams the door shut. Buttface is a loose translation from the Spanish. Anyway, I found it to be pretty hilarious because she didn’t GO anywhere. She just needed some power, I suppose, and felt that “adios buttface” was the best way. She had her lesson later and at the end when we went over the behavior chart, we agreed that “Adios, BUTTFACE” hadn’t been the greatest idea and probably wouldn’t be necessary next time. I didn’t tell her that I thought the whole thing was hilarious and continue to use the phrase (I don’t really think Astin is amused.)

Next week, tragically, there will be no blog. I will be “taking the sun,” as they say, in Barcelona. A couple of Astin’s friends and the two of us will either fly or bus over there on Friday. Furthermore, my computer is being shifty again and so if you stop hearing from me for a long time, it’s due to some sort of crash. Well, keep it real on the streets.

Well, bad news. I forgot the procession pictures again. Oops. Maybe next week. Maybe never. So this week Astin was in the States for a wedding, so I decided to become a wandering vagabond and walk around a lot. I tried some new spanish foods...membrillo (quince) and palmeras de chocolate (kind of like pie crust with chocolate on top). Both pretty good.

In student news:
-One student has announced that he likes to "rike a bike" and he was very cute about it.
-My ridiculous six year old gave me some empty sticker packets (mind you, they still had the borders, just not the actual picture stickers) she told me that they were "for my collection." I suspect she did this to ward off my increasinly-ominous glares that were directed her way for messing up our game. If anyone collects empty sticker packets, please let me know and I will send you some materials directly.
-Another student decided that, hey, why SAY grammar explanations when you can SING them. Her brother and I promptly started calling her Mary Poppins.

I also added "Good King Wenceslas" to my Sweet Flute repertoire. Other than that, not much to report. Below is a photo from the good ol' days. Take it back old school.

Semana Santa

There was no blog last week for a few reasons.

1) life wasn't too exciting
2) I was severely impeded on my way to blog.
a) the bus was incredibly delayed and it was really windy while I was waiting for the bus, so I was continually pelted with thousands of those little round tree seed pod things. When the bus came, it was really crowded, so the bus driver didn't notice me until he shut me in the door. A female leaping around frantically kind of attracts attention.
b) when I arrived at the coffee shop much later with lots of woodland particles nestled in my hair, they told me they couldn't change my 10 Euro bill. They literally didn't have enough change. So I went to another coffee shop, bought a yogurt, and then returned to my regular coffee shop. This all took an enormous amount of time.

Anyway. This week was Semana Santa and basically the whole country takes at least a 4-day vacation. I took a fabulous trip to nowhere on account of an upcoming trip to Barcelona that I'm saving up for. I did go to a procession though. They're wild. Basically different churches put their saint on a throne-thing and dress up in eerie Ku Klux Klan looking outfits and parade around various cities. It's pretty cool. I'll post pictures next week.

Kimberlea comes to visit

Here is a schedule of events that transpired while Kimberlea was here:

Tuesday/Wednesday: recovering from time zone change
Thursday: 9 am, leave for Valencia. 4 hours later de-bus. Wander around Valencia looking at the different Fallas.* Watch a parade in which billions of sparks are flying everywhere, landing on people, most of whom leave unharmed. Unfortunately, a few hairs and particles of flesh are burned off Kimberlea's head. After this, continue wandering around looking at Fallas and for a place to eat. After dinner watch the burning/fireworks explosion of the main children's falla. Stay in very squished quarters with thousands/maybe hundreds of other people for a few more hours to watch the burning of the main falla. Basically I have never seen so much fire in my life. Return home at 3 am.
Friday: Try to figure out what happened to ourselves. I attempt to teach a class to my 6 and 8 year old. The 6 year old tells my my zip-up sweatshirt is tacky. Then we went to a place nearby called Don Pimpón.
Saturday: authentic Spanish grocery shopping experience. Wandering around Madrid. Visiting a museum. Went to a jazz bar where we watched these really snotty ladies who couldn't clap (no matter how many drinks they ordered) sneer at people around them.
Sunday: visiting the open-air market for souvenirs, chocolate and churros, a hurge park, the cow parade.
Monday: Kimberlea went weapon shopping.
Tuesday: Coffee and watching the royal horses get baths.

All in all it was a a grand time. :D

*For information about what a falla is, check here:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Las_Fallas

Do it.

In lieu of a regular post, I will direct you to the following link:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tBJPTyyX8Cs

The Swindling Canoeist and Other Criminal Acts

Recently I’ve been reading an article about a skip-tracer with some of my business students. Basically, it’s about this guy who tracks down people who try to skip out of town and leave debts behind, etc. There’s one part about a guy who committed life insurance fraud in a death he faked in a canoe. The line which caused much consternation among my students was,

“…much in the news since swindling canoeist John Darwin and his wife Anne were jailed last year…”

We had to break each word down and discuss it for a long time. Finally one student threw up her hands and moaned, explaining to me in Spanish her understanding of the article—a man in a canoe, rowing around, cheating people out of their hard-earned money. We had a good laugh once it was straightened out.

Moving along. Since I essentially grew up in a house, I’m not familiar with the ups and downs of apartment life. Overall, I like the connected sense. Hearing snatches of other people’s music, knowing when someone is putting in a new cupboard, etc. I especially like the baby and his grandma who tickles him so hard that he bounces her name when he’s trying to get it out. However, there is one thing I do not like. And that is the lifestyle of my neighbors on the other side of my headboard. I used to have neighbors who loved each other very much. Several times a week, they loved each other very much. Such things can be ignored with a little help from music in the headphones. However, they must have moved because that room is now the entertainment room for a family who does NOT love each other so much. In fact, they fight a lot and watch TV till very late. Even with all this considered, it wasn’t until they downloaded Instant Messenger that I got truly annoyed. Bee-dee-doop. Bee-dee-doop. *Low, vicious grumbling from my side of the wall*

I take comfort in the fact that I have taken revenge on basically any past or potential enemies in my apartment building with one simple purchase. I’ve been wanting to do it for a long time, and finally I got so jealous of one of my students that I just went out and bought one. I am now the proud owner of a Hohner Recorder. Bam. You may look for an album titled, “The Musical Stylings of Kate” on iTunes any day now. Later, when I want to appeal to a wider, more hip-hop style audience, I will produce an album called, “The Musical Stylings of K-Dub.” First, I have to figure out how to stay in the same octave for the whole song. I have already taught myself at least four, maybe 5 songs. Parents, you can look forward to such musical gems as, “Mary Had a Little Lamb” and “Ode to Joy” when I’m living at home looking for a job.

In final news, just in time for Kimberlea’s arrival, I have contracted a head cold. I’d like to know which of my students to blame, but they’ve all been sick within the past month, so I just don’t know. I plan to take it easy so that I will be ready for our big shindig in Valencia. Google “Las Fallas”…it’s pretty good. And, lucky for me, I have the nicest roommate in the world who supports me in my whiny, snot-ridden state and doesn’t mind if I use roughly 50% of our toilet paper supply to empty my nose.

How to Be a Warrior and Other Valuable Skills

Recently, I discovered a vicious den of wickedness and pollution. The horrifying thing was that the said den was located...

on my blinds.

Yes. Between several of the lower slats in my oh-so-quality-roll-up-blinds, I found several colonies of wicked mold growing and polluting my life. I highly doubt that it was of the life-saving penicilling type. Therefore, I attacked it the way Astin has been quoted attacking dishes, "quickly. ruthlessly." Not to worry. The colonies have been subdued and a lot more fresh air has been circulating our house as preventative measure.

On Friday, we went for drinks with our landlord. It was kind of a weird shift for me, because I'm used to hating my landlord. But Astin says this is just because I've had bad ones. I am not so sure. At that time, I tried escargot, or snails, for the first time. It honestly wasn't bad. But since I wasn't sure if they fell in the same category as sea food, I didn't eat much.

In final news, I am suffering from a slight flesh wound. Recently, while trying to use a large knife as a weenie roaster, there was a collision between my index finger and the molten blade. No surgery was necessary, and I survive to this day. I do not suggest this method, but it was the only one available at the time that did not dirty up more dishes.
The End.