F*ck.

It all started with me smashing the front of my car into the back of another car. Why this didn’t happen when I was 16 and routinely driving 20 miles over the speed limit, I don’t know. I wasn’t texting. I wasn’t on the phone. I just didn’t realize they had stopped very suddenly. I swerved onto the shoulder but not before I nicked their fender with my bumper. So there I am standing on the side of the road, looking at the various pieces of my car littering the side, and somehow, I hear Jenny’s voice (how it wedged in through the “oh fuck.” on repeat is beyond me) telling me to celebrate. That snapped me out of my shock long enough to be grateful that no one got hurt (not even Chris Stanley, my beloved guitar), and that at least their vehicle wasn’t damaged beyond repair. I also probably couldn’t have destroyed the fender of nicer people. How often do people exchange hugs at the scene of an accident? Three surreal things that happened:

1) The elderly lady passenger of the other car offered to help push my car off the road, although she was stopped by her daughter reminding her of her bad back

2) The daughter and some random stranger helped me push it off and the stranger parked behind my car till the police showed up since her mom had been “really messed up” by sitting in her car after an accident

3) As we’re exchanging insurance, phrases like, “Wish we could’ve met under different circumstances” and “Take care and have a happy new year!”

Who has the mental and emotional wherewithal to be so present in such a situation? Maybe you have to lead a pretty centered life to find your bearings so quickly after a stressful situation and be compassionate to someone you have every reason to be livid with. I’m pretty damn lucky they showed me grace and kindness when I mostly hear about rage or icy politeness in these situations. To be continued…