I've been working in the teen center this week. All the teen staff was called away and it's been a wild week.

1) I don't like working alone 2) I don't like being held responsible at the same time I have no clue what's happening 3) It's hard to build a relationship in a week.

Little kids, more often than not, will adore you simply because you are taller than them if you make any effort. Junior high and high school kids, not so much. Now that I think about this, most of my frustration this week would be forgettable except for the one kid. The one who probably really needs to know that somebody loves him but doesn't understand that from me.

Calling for You

The other night we talked for a few hours straight about what was making me furious. We talked about how my whirlwind experience had spilled over into other lives in a painful way. They were honest. I expected it to hurt, but instead I felt very secure, knowing that two of the people I love the most were brave enough to be honest.

I think things that are true bring life.

Library card, please

Time to check in. Coincidentally, it is also time to get a new library card.

The summer continues. Plenty of work to keep me busy (I wish there was plenty of money to keep me saving :D) And plenty of good times to be had. Highlights.

The twins. Once a week I get off work, drive to their house, have dinner with their fam, and then the parents depart. We either walk Ellie, play frisbee, bake something, or last week we made a giant deep sea chalk mural in their driveway. Somehow it had a dental theme. I think it started when I made an octopus with a toothbrush and they took it from there. After I named it Javier the sly dental hygienist, their parents told me the neighbor across the street was a dental hygienist. Whoops. After that, we read a chapter from "A Knight's Tale" (Edward Eager was one of the most brilliant children's authors, I feel) with voices and accents and noises. And then they go to bed. Usually, it's the highlight of my week. Who knew nine-year-olds were so fun.

We floated the river the other day. Lots of ridiculous events before and after, which involved walking for multiple miles in the blazing sun, waiting for rides, and chilling for hours. And it was a very good day. I did run into a few trees, though. And one guy didn't realize I was behind him and smacked a branch into me. Afterward we went to one of those old fashioned diners and I have never enjoyed a hamburger that much, I'm pretty sure. And please, please, ask Sydney how to scream at the top of your lungs.

Yesterday I went to a wedding. I generally find weddings to be agreeable, especially if I go with people I know, which I did. A bit of a long ceremony, but it was so gorgeous outside I barely noticed. Huge old trees and tons of green and some running water off to the side. And a very glamorous couple up front. Plus a dinner afterward. I think that's the first wedding I went to with a dinner afterward and it rocked my world. I've been to ones that were awfully close, though. At each wedding I find things that I do and don't want to do at my own wedding. Astin and I both talked about how we want fairly non-traditional weddings. I don't think I want it to be "my special day" because I think that would scare me. I want it to be a party for me, and for my studmuffin :), and for all the people that raised me, helped me grow, and listened to me whine/cry/laugh/doubt along the way. It's work to help people through relationships sometimes!

Also I mowed the lawn yesterday. Booyah.

Rollin' with the homies

So I got accepted. And so did Astin--September 22nd will find is in Madrid. I can't really believe it, but it definitely got a lot more real. We'll be there at the school for a month taking classes on how to teach english to get our TEFL certificate, plus student teaching. Then after that, we're guaranteed 15 hours a week at the school and then we have to find private students.

We also got a puppy. She's a chow mix named Electra.Shoot, time to go to work, more later.
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Back from work. Which is, by the way, excellent. I still work at the coffee shop but I also work with 1st-5th graders at a day camp. They're hilarious. I'm used to working with jr. high kids, so the complete inability to reason throws me off. Really, all they care is that somethingdid not go their way. Nothing else matters. I have a new respect for my old comrades at Cannon Beach.

Tomorrow, Astin and i are meeting to discuss financial matters. We're trying to decide if we'll have the finances to make it by September or if we'll have to wait for the next program in October. We'd liketogo in September, but I'm just not sure.

I do know that Anne's spacebar doesn'twork...

Housekeeping

So, I got another job. I still work at the coffee shop. But I also got a job at a community center working at their day camp. It's 1st-6th graders and I work in the afternoons. In some ways it reminds me of Cannon Beach, and in a lot of ways, not at all. I thought a lot about CBCC when we were training though. Lots of the same stuff--games, training, and cleaning :D I firmly believe that you can do all the get-to-know-you games you want, but until you clean something nasty or disastrous for an extended period of time, you don't really bond. I'm still not quite sure what I'm doign, but I knowenough to punt. Quote for the day comes from Vince. I was on his case a lot so i wanted to build him up. I noticed he had a ton of accents and voices he uses.
Me-"Vince! You have like a million voices. Where did you learn them all?!"
Vince-"Actually 99,921. 99,921 is the limit that humans can learn. And that includes like elk and other animal noises."

I evenutally coaxed a demonstration of "elk noises" from him. It was a cross between a dog and a cat I think.

I'm currently looking for another job. I did the math and there's no way I'll make it to Spain on my current salary, especially since rent just went up. And I didn't realize how long the drive is to the day camp. Good thing gas is awesomely priced at 4.07.

In other news, we're moving into the new house. Anne and I are still housesitting, so we move bit by bit. The first night, we were shocked to find out how much touch up paint we'd need. Then we also had the touch up wall. When I had toured the house I thought it was textured. Nope, just really crappy :D So Anne and I, who are sharing a room, got some paint and did the whole wall, boom boom.

I'm excited for the house, and for a routine, and for living with some amazing girls. Word to your mom.

So, in a creepy facebook way, I was looking at someone's pictures of Cuba. A friend of a friend, but it's nice to be able to look through their pictures. It was amazing to be taken back there and remember those things. So damn lucky. To Hamlin street in the art district and see stuff that I could have never imagined. The psicoballet and how hysterical and beautiful it was. The hospital, the doctor's office. Pain I will never know, beauty I'll only see once. Even as I write this I can really only think about the water and how blue it was. You can read about it, you can see photos and you never really get it until it takes your breath away. And you stare at it and drink it with your eyes because it's so blue. It's like bathing in sunshine.

And the people you love and who love you. The ones who journey with you as you feel like what you knew crumbles in your hand and trickles through you fingers. The ones who laugh with you, skinny dip with you, ask questions, listen to questions, cry, get mad, run, spin, eat weird food. The ones you never see again. The ones who teach you more in a week than you wonder if you've learned in your life. They give more with a meal than you think you can give with your whole heart. They don't care that you don't get it. For some reason, you get to be loved by them.

It wasn't always magical. I hated parts of it. I was lonely, frustrated, scared, sick, pained. But it was really small in comparison to the magic in the smiles, the you-have-no-clue-what's-happening laughter, the aha! moments, and sharing.

Just as magical as a street corner popsicle between friends.

Give me a reason to fall in love

So, really, living with five girls in a two-bedroom apartment is pretty rad. I'm sure the light sleeping will either take care of itself or I'll get tired. But now is great. Life at the M is good, except that I have to pee. Life in general is good. I just feel unsettled. I wonder about that whole in-the-moment thing when I think "If only I had a house, if only I had another job..." I suppose It's fine since I'm enjoying myself, just a little stressed out. Dangit, I realized I forgot a scrubbie.

Also, there is the sweetest guy who works at the flying M. He reminds me not to be a beeyotch to the rude customers. After Sydney and I had a very nerdy conversation last night about coffee and customers, everyone was amazing today. Some of the nicest customers I've ever had. I forget how much you change someone's day by the look on your face and how much your perfect order means to you.

The house hunt continues. I feel like we get close often, but not close enough. And then we all talk big about how we will go in and wrangle our way into the perfect deal. Mostly just for laughs. Hopefully the current prospect will work out. I asked them to leave the "I kiss better than I cook" sign above the sink.

I haven't started missing everyone yet. I don't think it feels real since we're so wrapped up in finding a house and jobs. I really would like to be settled. And I think once we just get there, it will be time to move to Spain. And really, after that, I might be temped to move into my parent's garage just to have roots.

I think they're closing shop for the night. Adios