Oh mi blog. I have not written in thee for quite some time. So I'm becoming that girl that likes little kids. Today was play in the sprinklers day at work and we had a lot of fun. I wish I were staying after the summer program, but it's just not feasible. They haven't offered and I wouldn't accept if they did. It's bittersweet to see the disappointed look in the kids' faces when I tell them I won't be here in the fall. The little breakthroughs mean a lot. Like the girl who tells me that she still likes me even though all I do is torture children. Or the moments when a flash of presence comes into Brayden's eyes long enough to call me an old grandma and run away before he returns to the distant look again.
Life marches on at a fairly regular pace. Did I say I bought a one-way ticket to Madrid? That was weird. I haven't felt peaceful in a while. I think working lots of hours, not enought time with the people Icare about, and something going on all the time is taking its toll. But I haven't whined very much. It's not the coolest thing to inflict your choices on the people around you. No one but me made me go to Spain. Which, ironically, ends up being my saving grace. I remind myself that I'm choosing to be at work at 5:20 in the morning. For a recovering control-freak like myself, that is power :)
I took Julie's advice and I'm vacationing for a year. From anything religious. And I enjoy it. I also enjoy her family. The twins and I went to the store in our costumes. I was just dressed up from Superhero day at work (I was Super Shark with a giant fin on my head), and they just wanted to wear costumes. We boldly took the grocery store by storm.
The End.
Friday, July 25, 2008
Monday, July 14, 2008
Buy a one-way ticket on a west bound train
On Saturday I bought a one-way ticket to Madrid. I often think I might be out of my mind.
...
All of the cheap tickets doubled in price so it was kind of a last-minute make-it-or-break-it kind of a deal, so we both bought a one-way ticket. I really think I'm crazy. But I'm in it to win it.
In order to pay for that one-way ticket, I've been working my ass off a bit. This is due to the fact that I don't make very much money. I also added a house-cleaning job to my other two jobs. That was really a mental shift for me. As much as we say all jobs/people/etc. are the same, that's not what we really believe.
And now I have pink eye. I haven't had it since I was a little kid. I'm not sure if I even got it then. It was probably inevitable, but I have no memories of it. I feel a little let down by my immune system. I suppose the feeling is mutual.
...
All of the cheap tickets doubled in price so it was kind of a last-minute make-it-or-break-it kind of a deal, so we both bought a one-way ticket. I really think I'm crazy. But I'm in it to win it.
In order to pay for that one-way ticket, I've been working my ass off a bit. This is due to the fact that I don't make very much money. I also added a house-cleaning job to my other two jobs. That was really a mental shift for me. As much as we say all jobs/people/etc. are the same, that's not what we really believe.
And now I have pink eye. I haven't had it since I was a little kid. I'm not sure if I even got it then. It was probably inevitable, but I have no memories of it. I feel a little let down by my immune system. I suppose the feeling is mutual.
Friday, July 11, 2008
I've been working in the teen center this week. All the teen staff was called away and it's been a wild week.
1) I don't like working alone 2) I don't like being held responsible at the same time I have no clue what's happening 3) It's hard to build a relationship in a week.
Little kids, more often than not, will adore you simply because you are taller than them if you make any effort. Junior high and high school kids, not so much. Now that I think about this, most of my frustration this week would be forgettable except for the one kid. The one who probably really needs to know that somebody loves him but doesn't understand that from me.
1) I don't like working alone 2) I don't like being held responsible at the same time I have no clue what's happening 3) It's hard to build a relationship in a week.
Little kids, more often than not, will adore you simply because you are taller than them if you make any effort. Junior high and high school kids, not so much. Now that I think about this, most of my frustration this week would be forgettable except for the one kid. The one who probably really needs to know that somebody loves him but doesn't understand that from me.
Calling for You
The other night we talked for a few hours straight about what was making me furious. We talked about how my whirlwind experience had spilled over into other lives in a painful way. They were honest. I expected it to hurt, but instead I felt very secure, knowing that two of the people I love the most were brave enough to be honest.
I think things that are true bring life.
I think things that are true bring life.
Sunday, July 6, 2008
Library card, please
Time to check in. Coincidentally, it is also time to get a new library card.
The summer continues. Plenty of work to keep me busy (I wish there was plenty of money to keep me saving :D) And plenty of good times to be had. Highlights.
The twins. Once a week I get off work, drive to their house, have dinner with their fam, and then the parents depart. We either walk Ellie, play frisbee, bake something, or last week we made a giant deep sea chalk mural in their driveway. Somehow it had a dental theme. I think it started when I made an octopus with a toothbrush and they took it from there. After I named it Javier the sly dental hygienist, their parents told me the neighbor across the street was a dental hygienist. Whoops. After that, we read a chapter from "A Knight's Tale" (Edward Eager was one of the most brilliant children's authors, I feel) with voices and accents and noises. And then they go to bed. Usually, it's the highlight of my week. Who knew nine-year-olds were so fun.
We floated the river the other day. Lots of ridiculous events before and after, which involved walking for multiple miles in the blazing sun, waiting for rides, and chilling for hours. And it was a very good day. I did run into a few trees, though. And one guy didn't realize I was behind him and smacked a branch into me. Afterward we went to one of those old fashioned diners and I have never enjoyed a hamburger that much, I'm pretty sure. And please, please, ask Sydney how to scream at the top of your lungs.
Yesterday I went to a wedding. I generally find weddings to be agreeable, especially if I go with people I know, which I did. A bit of a long ceremony, but it was so gorgeous outside I barely noticed. Huge old trees and tons of green and some running water off to the side. And a very glamorous couple up front. Plus a dinner afterward. I think that's the first wedding I went to with a dinner afterward and it rocked my world. I've been to ones that were awfully close, though. At each wedding I find things that I do and don't want to do at my own wedding. Astin and I both talked about how we want fairly non-traditional weddings. I don't think I want it to be "my special day" because I think that would scare me. I want it to be a party for me, and for my studmuffin :), and for all the people that raised me, helped me grow, and listened to me whine/cry/laugh/doubt along the way. It's work to help people through relationships sometimes!
Also I mowed the lawn yesterday. Booyah.
The summer continues. Plenty of work to keep me busy (I wish there was plenty of money to keep me saving :D) And plenty of good times to be had. Highlights.
The twins. Once a week I get off work, drive to their house, have dinner with their fam, and then the parents depart. We either walk Ellie, play frisbee, bake something, or last week we made a giant deep sea chalk mural in their driveway. Somehow it had a dental theme. I think it started when I made an octopus with a toothbrush and they took it from there. After I named it Javier the sly dental hygienist, their parents told me the neighbor across the street was a dental hygienist. Whoops. After that, we read a chapter from "A Knight's Tale" (Edward Eager was one of the most brilliant children's authors, I feel) with voices and accents and noises. And then they go to bed. Usually, it's the highlight of my week. Who knew nine-year-olds were so fun.
We floated the river the other day. Lots of ridiculous events before and after, which involved walking for multiple miles in the blazing sun, waiting for rides, and chilling for hours. And it was a very good day. I did run into a few trees, though. And one guy didn't realize I was behind him and smacked a branch into me. Afterward we went to one of those old fashioned diners and I have never enjoyed a hamburger that much, I'm pretty sure. And please, please, ask Sydney how to scream at the top of your lungs.
Yesterday I went to a wedding. I generally find weddings to be agreeable, especially if I go with people I know, which I did. A bit of a long ceremony, but it was so gorgeous outside I barely noticed. Huge old trees and tons of green and some running water off to the side. And a very glamorous couple up front. Plus a dinner afterward. I think that's the first wedding I went to with a dinner afterward and it rocked my world. I've been to ones that were awfully close, though. At each wedding I find things that I do and don't want to do at my own wedding. Astin and I both talked about how we want fairly non-traditional weddings. I don't think I want it to be "my special day" because I think that would scare me. I want it to be a party for me, and for my studmuffin :), and for all the people that raised me, helped me grow, and listened to me whine/cry/laugh/doubt along the way. It's work to help people through relationships sometimes!
Also I mowed the lawn yesterday. Booyah.
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