My thoughts on tea...

One time when my sister and I were little, my mom decided we should have an all-out tea party. So we dressed up, made little sandwiches, got out teacups and saucers and doilies and honey and sugar and and and...Of course my mom would suggest that we use British accents and names. We came up with names like Mrs. Witherspoon. Then it was my sister's turn to pick a name. She solemnly stuck her little nose in the air and with her best British accent she introduced what she thought would be a perfectly acceptable modification of Peabody, "I suggest Mrs. Peabrain." My mom and I erupted in laughter and Anne never did live it down.

When the climactic moment came to drink our tea, after we had added honey and lemon and all those glamorous things people write about in books, we raised our cups and swallowed a sip. Anne and I promptly spit it back in the cup because we were young enough to get away with that sort of thing. I said it tasted like stewed weeds and held that opinion for several years.

Last year or so, I learned to like tea. Quite a bit, actually. To the point where I drink it without anything added. But the other day I had a thought about the tea industry. While I'm sure some tea is legitimate, how do we know it started that way? I'm pretty sure some brilliant villageperson wandered out and started hacking down weeds and plants no one wanted. Then he said to himself, "I'm going to package this in cutesy bags and sell it for millions to unsuspecting rich people." So maybe tea really is just stewed weeds. Look at it sometime. Outside the bag, it just looks like someone mowed their lawn and then dispensed it into little bags. I should start my own company and call it something swank like "Lonti" and only I will know it means "Lawn Tea" as in, "This tea was mowed from my back yard."