Bugs

So I had this realization. After growing up in a religious setting where being a missionary was just about the tip-top of the pyramid, an idealization formed. And somewhere along the way I developed this idea that the ultimate best thing I could do with my life was to move to some desolate village, wear horribly unfashionable clothes (sorry missionaries), serve "the poor", and eat weird foods including, but not limited to, bugs.

Grab your machetes. Let's quickly slash through the gross cultural stereotyping, potential ethnocentric landmines, nationalism, etc. and get to today's qualm.

That paradigm never shifted. The religious component slowly trickled away but the fashion, the "poor" (I know I am being all kinds of politically incorrect here), and the bugs are still very vivid. So I was talking with someone about this the other day. And I expected him to bring up my tendency to assume that whatever is difficult, painful, and miserable must be the most noble option. Given two comparable options, I would assume that whatever option cost more for me would be the better of the two.

But he told me that I just needed to figure out what was out there, realistically. Take it from a vague idea to a concrete program. And then after that step, I should probably go do it. Because if I didn't, I'd spend the rest of my life regretting the loss and feeling like I missed out/wasted something/should have done something differently.

I gave it some thought. And I think he's got a good point, as evidenced by my stint in Spain. I had always wanted to live in Europe and somewhere around the 6th grade I started jonesing to get out of the small town I lived in. Would I have wasted my life if I had never crossed the ocean? Not necessarily. Would I have been a failure? Not necessarily. Yet did I still feel relieved, accomplished, and proud of myself afterward? Absolutely. I no longer feel the need to live there again. I would enjoy it, in smaller doses, but I don't feel any pressure anymore. Do I sound like a whiny little privileged girl? Probably.

Thus begins the search. I'm not sure what I'm looking for. Digging wells, for some reason, is the idea my brain is choosing to romanticize at the moment. Something without frills, something difficult, something challenging. I'm learning that I have to keep the balance of challenge tuned in my life. Too little challenge and the anxiety rises. Too much challenge and the exhaustion rises. Just enough challenge is a thrill.

I'd like to add 2 caveats: One, LASP helped me to begin, at least a little, to get rid of the savior mentality. The mentality that says (with or without knowing it) that, "Oh hey, my culture/race/country/whatever is so great. Let me help this lesser/weaker/whatever group because I am so magnanimous and noble." Nope. All I know is I want to go somewhere, and do something that benefits someone else. In a foreign country where I might have to eat bugs. 2) I will probably have a supernatural ability to power through the insects on account of my lifetime membership in the Banana Slug Club. Membership photo shown below.



I welcome your feedback.

Mmm. The new Adele album. Buy it. Love it.

Fame comes early to some

Maybe I'm just trying to find justification for something that has already happened, but I think that learning to laugh at really inappropriate things (while making sure consequences follow, of course), is a good skill to have in my trade. Thus I found the following interaction at work pretty hilarious. (Not for the easily offended.)

[Student has recently been moved outside to eat in the cold after being disrespectful inside]
Student: I don't see why you're such a f****** jerk.
Me: Mhm.
[More ranting which I ignored after which student stumbles across a kind of loop he proceeds to rap to me.}
Student: Ms. Kate, ye ye, you're a bi***, HEY, you're a who**, what, what, what, ye.

So, ladies and gentlemen, you can look for this hit single to be busting through the top 10 any day now!

I also found the following from a post about a year ago and I can only say BOOYAH!
"I got a job, totally unrelated to my major but related to pretty much all the jobs I've ever had, working with 10-15 year old boys. Discipline has definitely always been my weakness. Since I have a pretty strong personality, you would think that discipline comes naturally, but it actually makes me sick. Therefore, this job is gradually changing that. I don't know how long I'll last, but I'm giving it a good go while I'm there."

Yeep.

Whoa man, kids. It's been a while since I just rambled on about nothing in particular (just kidding, that's what most of my blogs are). So here are some rambles.

1) I have taken up skiing. I really like it, especially because I'm picking it up quickly. Gone are the days of the pizza slice...mostly. And so far, I've survived some pretty terrific falls. Cartwheels down the mountain, really. Friday night's trip involved doing the splits and a lot of the f-word and then also a wild cartwheel that involved my friends asking if I was okay mid-tumble and me not realizing I wasn't done.

Friends: "Are you okay?!"
Me: "I'm okay!" *More tumbling* *pause* "Yeah I'm okay"
*extended hysterical laughter*

But overall I'm proud of this because I've wanted to do this for a long time and I finally just did it. By myself.

2) I have a boyfriend. His name is Peter and he's absolutely the most amazing thing ever. Bahahahahahah. Just kidding. I thought I would throw that in there for kicks and giggles and shock factor.

3) I talked to one of my friends from my Costa Rica program and re-triggered my wanderlust. For various reasons, I have deemed it wiser to stay here close to my family for the time being and into the summer. I've looked into various programs abroad, organic farming internships in the U.S., and none of them seem to suit my boat. And I reflect on all the tests I took and find-yourself classes I sat through and wonder why it's so difficult for me to find the next place I want to adventure to. Of course, there's no "right answer" but maybe I'm being too picky. I know I'd like to transition into a program. a) this is a greater opportunity for community/antidote for loneliness for people new to the area. b) I'd rather move with someone, but this gets a little risky as moving to a totally new place and knowing one person puts a big strain on the relationship. c) I'd like to find a low-strings attached type job where I can go and do it for a while, help people, and be in a new part of the world, but these jobs usually don't pay very much. So you go to a brand-new place without having the funds to explore it/pay off the car you will probably have to buy to get there in the first place.
Anne, Alli, and I talked about moving to Vermont and everything was looking good until I realized that sunny days per year is only 58. Even less than Portland. Yikes. These are the things that occupy my thoughts these days. That and how there is an overwhelming amount of good music out there that is not on my computer.

Word to your mother.

Best Excuse Yet

Me: Hey! So-and-so. Who gave you permission to be in this room?
Student: No one, I just came in.
Me: Okay, you need to pull some cards.
Student: I am allowed to be in here!
Me: And why's that?
Student: Because[obviously frantically searching for a reason. Then, with sweeping arm motion and dead-serious face] I am the President!

Anatomy, anyone?

1) That last post was 111. It will be a long time before I hit unanimous triple digits again.

2) This blog's story contains profanity, so if you're queasy, don't read.

3)

Me to one of the little guys at work: "Trevor", you need to take a shower, please.
"Trevor" [heated arguing, yelling, etc., ending with] NO!
Me: I notice that you're getting pretty upset, what do you need to do to get a lower energy level?
"Trevor": I'm not GONNA calm down because YOU are just pissing the fuck out of me!
Me [adopting a very solemn, concerned face] Oh no Trevor. That sounds painful. I think you'd better go to the bathroom, then.
"Trevor" [staring at me dumbfoundedly as the light begins to dawn] [Slaps forehead] Oh Ms. Kate. Oh my god. Oh sheesh. [laughter and general sheepishness.]

Antsy

When I go to sign into my blog and Firefox doesn't autocomplete the address, I know it's time for a new post.

So, running with my vibram five fingers has been going well and I can now run on concrete with no problem. The only problem comes from reverting back to old tennis shoes or thinking I can take on the world without checking to see if my muscles are on board. As a result of some misunderstandings between various muscles/ligaments and I, I have a relatively bitter knee and foot, but now that the Farm Man 5K is over, I'm taking a month off from running to heal up and hopefully start running properly again someday. Speaking of the Farm Man, it was a 5K with obstacle course that Team Running (which I have decided to call Anne, Kyla, Teresa, and I since we do these things together) went to. It was pretty fun and I organized a group of boys/staff from work to go, and I liked having them there. It was nice to be the me that I am outside of work and not have to worry about whether we had everyone or not.

All this to say that I do all my physical activity that isn't in the rain or on gravel in my fivefingers. This, in turn, has made me an instant spokesperson for the shoe and I regularly get stopped and questioned by total strangers. Anne says this is good for my social skills. I say this is good for Vibram.

Also in the world of fitness, a few thoughts on the elderly at the gym. They are hilarious. First, the apparel. My experience is that there is no middle ground. They either come in dressed exactly how they would for casual Friday: jeans, button up shirts, etc., or they are dressed from head to toe in very serious workout gear. Such as the matching track suits with coordinating stripes, the sweatband on forehead and wrist. In surprising numbers, they kick my butt in many ways, from the treadmill to the weight-lifting class.

My renewed favorite thing to do is what I call "dragon biking." It's an exercise bike with a computerized screen that shows you an pretend course and adjusts the difficulty to correspond with the picture of whatever terrain you're biking on. Well, it also has a feature called "chases" where you bike around trying to get certain colored coins and then catch the dragon that matches. It sounds easy until you realize that some dragons are stationed on top of pyramids and you have to bike to them. I tried to convince Kyla to come with me to do this, but until I explained the concept thoroughly she thought I would be dragging her to an actual class where the instructor shouted mythical commands like, "PEDAL FASTER! DRAGON AHEAD! GET THAT DRAGON!" You understand why we are friends.

Team Ingrid (apparently I now refer to all groups of people in teams) went to renew our love of Ms. Michaelson, who did not disappoint, as usual. Guggenheim Grotto opened and I'm glad they did! Although the teenyboppers behind us were unable to understand their Irish accent and loudly told them so, they had some good stuff to perform.

I'll end this long, kind of boring blog with a quote from work.

[Student with limited social skills has returned from a home visit. I am in the med cart dispensing meds. Student is known to be funny at times, awkward at others.]

Student: Ms. Kate, wanna know where I've been?
Me (thinking he'll tell me about his home visit stops): For sure!
Student (attempts some sort of catwalk strut): I been bringin' sexy back.

P.S. I'm ready for an adventure.