So far...

I would like to use the 45 minutes of free internet that the Houston Airport has provided me with to let you all know that I have made it through most of U.S. part of the voyage. I still have 4 hours of layover yet, which, of course I am looking forward to, and then I'll bebop on down to classic Buenos Aires. Claaaasic Buenos Aires.

Chapter the First – In Which We Find Our Protagonist Arrived at the Airport Two Hours Early.
Because mathematics, like walking, is also an apparently difficult subject.

1) Arriving early gave me some quality time to write the track names for the music I had burned onto iTunes. Really, what's better than editing titles at 4:30 in the morning? Sleeping, mainly, comes to mind, but who needs sleep?
2) They couldn't check me past Denver, so I visited with the rep in Denver who bore a striking resemblance to that guy in the Apple Dumpling Gang...Don Knotts, I think? Except not funny. Another rather uneventful flight.
3) I arrived in Houston. The United lady in Boise said I'd have to get my bags here because they couldn't check them to B.A. So I got a little panicked when it didn't come down the claim. Another bonding moment with Continental staff and the woman I only know as "M." (because why put your whole first name on your name tag?) told me that, via the interwebs, she was able to determine that my bags had been checked to B.A. after all. She printed me off a slip that said that and it apparently also works as a "you still have to go through security haha" pass. There was a little holdup due to some "suspicious activity" on my chin, but after doing a visual check, they were able to determine that my chin was probably not a dangerous weapon.

Items of note. I was a little nostalgic about traveling alone, as I usually have my misfortunes/adventures like these with Astin. But then I realized I'm not alone. I have Nilbert. Nilbert is the name of the growing/changing enormous swollen mass on the back of my leg that I got from an experience in my last post. I named it Nilbert because Nilbert is a rather awkward, unfortunate name, and Nilbert's existence is a rather awkward, unfortunate thing. So, we travel together as he routinely reminds me of his presence.
Also. Security is pretty interested in my fake tattoo/band-aid. I also appreciate the people who are really confused about it, but are trying to be polite and not stare. I still catch them. Off to find some dinner. Hopefully I will post an "I'm alive" post from B.A., but we'll see!

Title: Things You Should Not Do to Your Shin Two Days Before Leaving for Another Continent [Some Graphic Images]

Alternate title considered: Why the f*** is this a part of our driveway?!?!


Also considered: Well, if you hadn't waited to take the trash out till 11:30 pm, you wouldn't be in this predicament, now would you?

So, Anne heard voices outside and was kind enough to watch me out to the garage as I took out the trash. Well, I rammed the trash can right into whatever the hell that metal bar is, so I should have known where it was when I turned back around to get the recycling. As many of you know, however, it is actually pretty dark at 1130pm when you don't have a garage light. That is how I rammed my bare shin at full force into The Post of Damnation. Naturally, this caused within me great pain and consternation which my body decided to take care of by crumpling to the ground, where I believe the plan was to lie, whimpering. Again, due to the whole it's-dark-at-1130pm thing, on my way to the crumpling/whimpering stage, I somehow lost track of The Post of Damnation and landed on it with the back of my thigh before successfully achieving the crumpling/whimpering goal which, at this point, had reached a new urgency. I also believe I was surrounded by the recycling I had strewn about my in my fall, but the crumpling/whimpering had become my only concern in life. Anne began tiptoeing around, picking up the recycling, while I collected what was left of my life, my shin, and later the rest of the millions of paper slips on the sidewalk. I limped inside to survey the damage and found this. Bitches.




I proceeded to administer first aid to myself, and, in the process, discovered that the only large band-aids I had were the fake tattoo ones Grace gave me as a gag gift. And the large ones say "MOM" inside a heart. Super classy.

In closing, I would like to say "Rest in Peace" to my dreams of riding more comfortably on the plane ride (nothing like a goose egg on the back of your thigh for airline comfort), looking cute in my leggings (nothing like confusing bystanders as to whether I am waiting to board or looking for triage), or to meeting all the other interns without a large "MOM" bandage covering my shin (this was not a dream I was aware of having, yet, here I am at such a young age finding it snatched from my grasp). Yet, I remain hopeful for a good trip, having learned to watch out for The Posts of Damnation that may lie in wait.

BOOM!

And that is how you pack 3.5 months worth of stuff (for 2 seasons) into a pack, a carry-on shoulder bag, and a purse. (And you should know that that includes 5 bottles of biodegradable bugspray, ALL the shampoo, deodorant, lotion, sunscreen, blah blah blah, that I will need for the ENTIRE time, whereas normally I would just buy it there. PLUS a yoga mat (barf), hiking books, and an entire set of clothes devoted to working in a muddy garden. And maybe a stuffed animal.)

I have a few last-minute things to add that I really hope will fit, but other than that, I'm pretty much ready. I dyed my first article of clothing (unless you count tie-dye with a squirt gun in the 5th grade, woot to Heidi and Amy). I bought this lovely Columbia fleece from Goodwill for 3.99 but it was cream-colored and we all know my disastrous eating habits despite best efforts. So I dyed it. The intention was eggplant. The result was "royal purple" I believe my mom calls it. One of my less-favorite colors, but better than cream.

Now to cover some recent events. This past weekend I went with Anne, Steve, and Kyla to SLC to attempt to see Adele in concert. This time with great success. But before we did that, we all went to Lagoon. Twice. We rode all the scariest roller coasters and did all the water rides, too. Highlights: the drop-slide in the water park. I just felt really confused as to what was going on, but Anne says this is because I came out sideways, apparently. Listening to what came out of Anne's mouth when we did the "skycoaster" as I usually get punched for saying that. Steve trying to show off on a ride that shoots you up and then slams you down a pillar. It said don't look down, but he did it anyway and hurt his neck so that he had to swivel his entire self when turning to look at something. That was just unfortunate, not a highlight. The funny part came on the next ride. Similar to the Matterhorn at Disneyland, I believe. Where you and another person have to sit in the same car practically in each other's laps. Well, it's a rather violent ride and as you're whizzing around the corner, you're wondering why on earth there's no padding on the metal bars stabbing into your knees. And then coming around one particular corner, my neck was bent sideways, but then I was forced back onto Anne, and Anne popped my neck with her face as she shoved it sideways even more. This was all happening as I could hear Steve howling in pain behind us as his neck already hurt and then Kyla slammed his sunglasses onto his face with the back of her head coming around the same corner. We didn't actually ride that one ever again.

Then Anne and I went to Adele and I could gush for about a thousand million years about how amazing the concert was and how wonderful she was, but I won't. I will say that if you ever have a chance to see her live, TAKE IT.

All in all, an extremely lovely weekend.

Optimism flagging, but holding steady

Maybe?

A brief writing--

--in which the author mentions the following:

-She is now vaccinated for Typhoid, Yellow Fever, and HPV.
-Appreciates the nurse with the UK accent at the local clinic who said, "Awesome! You're going to love it there!" in response to my travel plans as opposed to the travel clinic PA who said fearfully, "Well. *breath* my kids have done some pretty unusual stuff *looks to the side* but nothing like this. Good luck." Wtf?
-Still thinks that diva cups are excellent.
-Washed the dishes today.
-Went rafting yesterday with her "nieces" and their parents, all of whom are super-smart. She set up ground rules for 20 questions that included, "Nothing mythical, super weird/unique, or something that you learned about at science camp" and still this was a response to a question, "Well, it's an idea that comes from a noun, and, yes, parts of it are cold." Love them. Love rafting.
-Made a new resolution to stop being afraid of swimming and learn how to swim better.
-Had a very successful headband-themed birthday party and appreciated her friends' evaluations of headbands that were "not weird enough."
-Is very excited to go see Adele and have wild fun at Lagoon this weekend.
-Is slowly but surely getting things in order for her trip. And still can't believe she's crazy enough to do it.
-Is becoming more tech-savvy and can post videos and recently learned about the lovely world of Pinterest.
-Is choosing to share the following silly song with you because it's on "Play Often" on iTunes.

Allergies of an unusual sort

So "Tristan" was being difficult during kitchen duty and was asked to leave the area, so I let him know we'd be outside on a work crew. Then this happened.

"Tristan": Fine. But I'm NOT going to the sunflowers. [looks away] I had a bad experience with the sunflowers.
Me: Um, okay. Soo...[proceed to tell him what had just popped into my mind...an image of a possessed sunflower actively trying to strangulate him.]
Tristan: [Look of "oh-my-god-and-I-thought-I-was-a-weird-kid"] Uh, no.
Me: So what happened then?
Tristan: Well, Mr. "Bill" made me go out there even though I hate the sunflowers and so I threw a rock at his head because I am deathly afraid of bees and they ALL live in the sunflowers.
Me: Oh. Okay. So you're allergic to bees then?
Tristan: [pauses] Mentally? Yes.

New Calculations

The following conversation happened between a student who wanted to go to another building at work, was told no, and then went anyway. We'll call him "Winston"

Me: Winston, what's going on?
Winston: Well, I wanted to come down here but you guys wouldn't let me. It's what I wanted to do all along if you staff would just use your logic. *rolls eyes*
Me: Right, but do you know why I wanted you to stay up there?
Winston: No.
Me: Because with you down here, that leaves this staff with 8 boys and the other with 2. That's not a good ratio.
Winston: So? If you guys would just send the other kids away so I could be down here, none of this would've happened.
Me: [gently] Yes, but Winston, the world does not revolve around you.
Winston: Yes. It does. I've done the math.